Reasons Why
by captain ty
Summary: Why do we make the choices we do? Can we ever correct the past?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters in this story. I have great respect for the real men of Band of Brothers. I own nothing but Amanda, Marga and well anyone else you don't recognize from the series. I'm at it again and I hope that those of you who enjoy original stories centered on Band of Brothers will enjoy this one. Of course my muse loves reviews. LOL

Italics indicate memory or German spoken. That's right, I'm not even trying the translation piece. LOL

_Leaving, I hate to see you cry  
Grieving, I hate to say goodbye  
Dust and ash forever, yeah_

Though I know we must be parted  
As sure as stars are in the sky  
I'm gonna see you when it comes to glory  
And I'll see you, I'll see you on the other side  
Yes I'll see you, I'll see you on the other side-_"See You On the Other Side", Ozzy Osborne_

_Prologue_

_ She was so cold. There wasn't any snow yet but the air coming off the North Sea was especially cold in winter, the wind mixed with the dampness chilled her to the bone. Where were the contacts? She couldn't see what time it was, but it had to be later than what she thought it was and they were late. Time was running out she had to get back before she was missed._

_ She rubbed her hands up and down her arms trying to bring some warmth back into her body. She felt like she'd never be warm again, these last few months had frozen more than her body, it'd frozen her soul. _

_ The snapping of a twig behind her turning and the welcoming smile slid from her face. "What are you doing here? I'm sure that Kurt had something you were to be doing?"_

_ A man stepped from the shadows with a pistol in his hand, "now, now Fraulein, I could ask you the same thing. Seems that you like to take long walks alone, now why is that?"_

_ The shiver ran down her spine. She'd never liked him, and she sure as hell had never trusted him. Could he be the man she was sent to find? Squaring her shoulders, "maybe I just enjoy the outside, it's good to be out in the fresh air, and maybe you should do it more often."_

_ His soft chuckle carried on the cold breeze. "Oh but you see, I've been getting out more lately and I find that you are very interesting to follow. I would wait for your friends to arrive, but I must be getting back, so I'll say Auf Wiedersehen."_

_ The sound of the weapon firing was deafening, but it was nothing compared to the burning pain in her chest. Reaching up she tried to cover the area that was burning to find it warm and wet. Opening her mouth to speak she found no words would come and her legs were suddenly very weak._

_ Dropping to her knees she was suddenly so tired. She knew what was wrong; she knew there was no chance. The ground rushed up to meet her and she could no longer keep her eyes open. Her last thought in this world was regrets for what she'd done to her sister._

Chapter 1

_Washington, DC-February 1943_

Her heels clicked on the tile corridor as she tried her best to move fast without breaking into a run. When Colonel Decker had called her and told her to be in his office in ten minutes, he'd apparently forgotten she worked on the other side of the Pentagon. Not to mention they had only occupied their offices just a few weeks ago and she'd not given any thoughts to developing short cuts. Thankfully it was early in the day so there was little foot traffic between her and her bosses office.

Stopping outside the closed door she braced a hand on the wall and tried to slow her heartbeat along with her breathing. When he'd called something had seemed off with his voice, almost as if he was distracted. Not at all like the commanding voice he normally used. Feeling she could now speak without panting the words, she knocked on the door and waited for him to respond.

"Enter and if you're not Schmitt stay the hell out."

Smiling she pushed the door open and stepped inside closing it behind her. "Well, here I'd been worried all the way over that something was wrong with you. You seemed a little distracted on the phone, is everything okay?"

Decker frowned down at the papers lying on his desk. From where she was sitting she couldn't read them, but she had a strong feeling that this meeting had something to do with them. She watched as Decker picked them up and laid them back down several times before he sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"Amanda, how long have we known each other?"

The shiver of unease she'd felt on the way over had suddenly reappeared pushing her anxiety level higher. "Well let's see, you hired me and my sister in oh early 1941, so roughly two years."

He nodded and stared at her a moment as if trying to decide what to say. Anxiety had just kicked itself up to full level terror. His eyes had softened and for a moment she swore that they had tears in them.

"Amanda, I know that your sister and you haven't had contact in a while and I feel completely responsible for that. I did something I shouldn't have done."

"Sir, maybe you should explain what is going on."

Decker stood and moved to the window to stare out at the gray landscape. In his own mind he knew telling her was the best course, but right now he hated himself and would give anything to not face her. Gripping his hands behind his back he turned to face her. "Amanda, a year ago we needed a young woman who could blend in to report SS troop movements and act as an agent on our behalf. We had other male agents but they were closely watched and we knew that a female would be able to slip through areas where a man would be noticed." Clearing his throat he moved closer to her. "I discreetly sent out feelers among certain staffs to find the type of woman we were looking for. The qualifications weren't easy, no family, attractive, young, and fluent in German."

Her fingernails were digging into the palm of her hand. She didn't want to hear this; she knew this had something to do with Marga. Her sister, who suddenly dropped out of her life without a word? "Sir, maybe you should just get to the point of what you're trying to say."

"God Amanda, Marga took the assignment. I had an idea when she did that there was a possible double agent working there, if I'd known who, maybe she'd still be alive." She watched as he dropped into the chair next to hers, suddenly looking older than his forty-two years.

"Marga's body was found outside of Caen yesterday by some of our sympathizers. She was shot and apparently had bled out. I'm so sorry Amanda, I know this is the worst thing I could do to you, but we are reaching a critical time with the war effort, more critical than some in this building realize. The only people who know she's dead are our side, her lover isn't aware of her death, so that's why we need someone to replace her and quickly."

Swallowing and trying to wrap her mind around what he'd just said, yet she could only focus on one thing. "So that's why you wanted to see me. You need me to replace Marga?" Somewhere something deep inside her she raged at the idea that this man would ask her to not even grieve, but just pick up where her sister left off. But another part, the darker side demand revenge and right now, that side was winning.

Decker didn't speak. Amanda was silent but seemed to be deciding what to do. He watched her face go through a fast array of emotions in what seemed to be instantly, but actually took several minutes. He was beginning to think she wouldn't do it when she finally raised her head to look at him. Her gray eyes were as dark as a winter sky in New England.

"I'll do it. Let me go home and pack some items." She held up her hand to stop him, "I want some things that are uniquely mine. I'll be back tonight and then you can send me where ever you wish. Provide me with the packet so I can review all the details of Marga's life these last few months."

He patted her hand, "of course. My car will drive you home and wait. I'm afraid this is going to be a difficult journey, but we can't lose any more time."

Taking the files she thanked him and let herself be escorted to his car. She knew she answered with the words expected of her, but she felt numb and confused. Looking at the files lying in her lap she just couldn't bring herself to read them. Closing her eyes she laid her head back against the seat.

So many questions, what had really happened to Marga? What kind of situation was she walking into to? Her eyes shot open at the next question that drifted across her mind, she was expected to be this SS officer's mistress, would that entail everything?

_Damn you Marga! Look at what you've done to me, to us. Why didn't you talk to me, I would have understood I would have helped? Now you've doomed us both._

"Ma'am we're here. I'll wait for you, but Colonel Decker wanted me to remind you not to take too long."

The driver's voice brought her back to the harsh reality. "Alright, I'll just be a few moments."

Stepping into her apartment she glanced around and felt all the energy she'd had drain from her body. Dropping onto the couch she tightly gripped her hands together in her lap. She wasn't going to cry, it would be useless at this point and well she just didn't have the time. Taking a deep breath she glanced at the photos lining the mantel of the fireplace. Her eyes stopped on one of her and Marga. The photo had been taken before they left Germany. The stabbing pain in her heart caused her to close her eyes. Germany, why did they ever leave? Marga would be alive if they hadn't.

Twins. Weren't they supposed to share everything? That had never been the case with her and Marga. Marga wanted to leave Germany; she hated Hitler and couldn't stand what he was doing to Germany. When Marga's friend Gabby disappeared from school, Marga had become obsessed with them leaving.

****

_Heidelberg, Germany-1941_

_"Damn it Mandy how can you sit by and let people just disappear? Do you feel nothing?"_

_ Glaring at her sister from across the table, "I feel plenty, but how is it going to help for us to leave Germany, to leave our friends? Or do you forget that Max and I are engaged?"_

_ Sighing Marga turned to stare at the fading lights before replying. "No I've not forgotten. I love you and I want you to be happy, but how can you marry a man who supports this…this…murdering of innocents?"_

_ Grabbing her sister's hand, Amanda hissed across the table, "Shh, quiet. I have no wish to have a meeting with the Gestapo tonight, besides, Max told me he fights for the Fatherland, not Hitler."_

_ Marga grabbed her hands, her light gray eyes pleading for understanding, "you have to realize Mandy, a soldier might be able to separate those two things, but how can you? Max is a good man, but well I've made my decision and I was hoping you'll come with me. I'm leaving for Switzerland on Friday and from there America. Please I've bought two tickets, just think about it. Please, promise me you'll think about it."_

_ "Alright, I'm seeing Max tonight, I promise you I'll think about it, but that's all I'm promising."_

_ Marga sat back and gave her a weak smile, "well that's all I can ask for now isn't it."_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_ When Amanda had opened the door and saw Max's face, she knew something was terribly wrong. Stepping aside she'd let him enter and attempted to keep her fear restrained._

_ She and Max had been engaged for the last year and were going to wed soon. When she looked over his tall frame she considered herself lucky. He was attractive and attentive, everything she could want in a husband. They'd meet through friends at the university and it was mutual interest that had kept them dating; now he was an officer in the army with prospects to move up. Taking her hand in his he'd led her to the couch, briefly touching his lips with hers. When she tried to deepen their kiss he'd pulled away._

_ "Mandy, I have something to tell you and I hope you'll be happy for me."_

_ Forcing a smile she grabbed his hand in both of hers, "of course I'll be happy for you. I love you. What makes you happy makes me happy." Even as she forced the words past her lips the unease she'd felt when he arrived turned into stark fear._

_ Max's pale blue eyes didn't reflect any happiness. "I never said I was happy with this, but you need to understand that as an officer, an officer with aspirations, there are things I must do regardless of personal feelings."_

_ "Well of course, Max you're starting to scare me what's happening."_

_ Cupping her face with both of his hands he pulled her to him and kissed her with almost desperation. Pulling his lips back, yet close enough to brush against hers, "Mandy I was married today."_

_ Grasping his wrists with her hands she pulled her head back. "Max that's not funny, you must be joking." The trembling in her voice gave away her true feelings._

_ Wrenching his hands free, "no Mandy I'm not, the leadership felt I should be married to a woman with better qualifications."_

_ "Better qualifications?! My blood line is pure what the hell do you mean better?"_

_ "Darling calm down, you're right, you were perfect but Magda is the daughter of a SS General and I thought…"_

_ Amanda lost all her fight. Watching Max she realized that she'd been used. She was merely a stopping point till something else came along. Nodding her head she smiled at him. "Fine Max, thank you for at least being man enough to tell me face to face and I certainly hope that you get everything you deserve in life. Now I think you should leave."_

_ Max paused taking a step toward her for a moment she was afraid that he was going to touch her again. Then he dropped his head, "I'm so sorry I never truly meant to hurt you Mandy. Be safe."_

_ She managed to hold it together until the door closed. Dropping her head in her hands she cried for everything she'd just lost. The soft arms pulling her close only made her cry harder and she relaxed into the embrace. Her sister's soft voice soothing her, "Don't cry Mandy, you'll always have me. We'll take care of each other. As long as we have each other, who needs some silly man." _

****

"Amanda, damn it open the door, I know you can hear me, open the door."

The pounding brought her out of the daydream. She didn't realized she been sitting here for over an hour staring into space, but obviously and hour was too long for Colonel Matt Decker who was currently trying to bust her door down. Pushing off the couch she wiped the tears from her face and headed for the door, managing to jerk it open before he hit it again with his shoulder.

"Do you have any idea how long my driver has been waiting on you? Are you packed, we need to get moving."

She watched as he spun around the room looking for a suitcase only to find it empty. His puzzled expression finally turned on her. "I thought you were packing?"

"I was going to but then I realized nothing here really matters any more. I have everything I need we can go."

Decker put his hand on the door above her head and pressed his body into hers. "Are you saying nothing here matters? Not even me?"

Turning she looked up to meet his dark brown eyes. Running her hand along his cheek she felt the stubble along his cheek from where he'd not shaved that morning. He really was a handsome man, his dark hair had only begun to show flecks or gray in the last year. Pressing forward she kissed him gently. "No Matt, you matter, but how can you ask me this now when you know that you are sending me to become the mistress of another man?"

Turning from her he ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know, maybe this isn't such a great idea. I don't like the idea of sending you into such a dangerous situation, but Mandy I've got no choice."

Wrapping her arms around him from behind she laid her head on his broad back. "I know that Matt, and well, you can't make me promises anyway, regardless of how we feel about one another. How's your wife?"

She felt him chuckle, "you are a cold woman. You're the only person I know that would bring the wife up at a time like this."

Pulling away she stepped over to the window and looked out at the small park across from her apartment. "You never made me promises Matt and I'm a big girl, I care for you and I believe you care for me, but some things can't be changed. Don't worry I won't hold it against you."

She felt the heat from his body before she felt his touch. He let his hands caress her shoulders before sliding down her arms and onto her breast, cupping them. She felt her nipples harden under his touch. His lips brushing her neck in soft kisses caused her to shiver in pleasure.

"You know I'm sure we could spare some time, since you don't want to pack anything. Please Mandy, let me hold you again."

Turning within his arms she wrapped one hand around his neck, the other reaching down to cup him. "Oh yes, one last time."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters in this story. I have great respect for the real men of Band of Brothers.

Spoken German is written in Italics.

_Is it cloak and dagger, could it be Spring or Fall?  
I walk without a cut through a stained-glass wall.  
Weaker in my eyesight, a candle in my grip, and words  
That have no form are falling from my lips._-_"These Dreams", Heart_

Chapter 2

_Aldbourne, England-1944_

Lewis Nixon leaned forward and bummed a light off the officer sitting in front of him. To say he was annoyed would have been the understatement of the year. He'd just been on his way to see a certain lady when the runner found him and told him about a mandatory intelligence briefing.

Taking a deep drag, he glanced around the room, which was currently filled with every American intelligence officer from both divisions the 101st and 82d. Frowning he glanced at the Colonel at the front of the room. Clearly, the man was from the war department, but what could be so important that he had to leave Washington for this briefing.

Deciding he would find out soon enough he decided to contemplate how to gain back the favor a certain lady he'd just lost by standing her up. He really should have found Dick and had him at least meet her and try to explain. Snorting he realized that Dick was too moralistic for that and would have probably told the lady he was married. Yeah, better that he just show up later with some token and try to win her back.

"Alright gentlemen, sorry to keep you all waiting but I'll go ahead and at least begin the briefing while we wait for the guest of honor to arrive. I'm Colonel Decker and the reason I'm here is to provide some background information that can assist you in the upcoming invasion."

Nixon was only half listening, already contemplating a glass of Vat 69 and a certain redhead who would require a delicate hand and all his charm to win over. The sound of high heels tapping on the floor quickly grabbed his attention. Glancing to the side the sight of the tall leggy blonde heading up to the front of the room suddenly erased all thoughts of the red head.

"Ah here she is, gentlemen, this is Amanda Schmitt, but if you ever see her outside this room her name is Marga. I'll turn over the remainder of this to her."

Nixon was puzzled to watch the brief exchange between the Colonel and Amanda. The look they sent each other was smoking hot and only lasted a moment; hmm there was a story there. He was also fascinated by how quiet it had suddenly become; the lady knew how to hold an audience.

"Gentlemen, I won't waste your time any more than necessary. Right now, there are several of you realizing I speak English with a German accent, good for you. For those of you who missed it find a new job you make lousy intelligence officers. For future correspondence, my code name is Falcon. When you see this name, know that you are getting the most detailed and accurate assessment that could possibly be provided. For those of you who are still skeptical, for the last year I've been the mistress of a certain SS officer who controls the western wall. He currently works under Rommel, but well things change quickly in the German Army."

Nixon listened to the rest of her brief, hearing what she was saying but in complete shock. She did speak English with a German accent yet worked for the war department, this got more confusing by the minute. She'd just admitted to sleeping with the enemy with no shame and actually a hint of pride in her voice. Her final words had Nixon coming back to room in full attention.

"Don't be fooled, the Germans suspect you're coming, they are prepared and all I can do is wish you luck. Please keep the details of this briefing to yourselves and as to my existence,…I don't exist. Remember, I've no desire to be shot as a traitor. In addition, I know all you're passwords and other information that will ensure my survival. Questions, if not thank you for your attention gentlemen."

Nixon watched as those long legs carried her back down the aisle toward the exit. He needed to find a way to escape here quickly and catch up with her.

****

"Amanda, wait I want to talk to you."

Sighing she tried not to tense up. Turning she faced the man that at one time she'd thought herself in love with. "Matt what a surprise, so what caused you to leave Washington?"

Grabbing her arm, he pulled her off into the shadows of the building. Finding privacy was nearly impossible but the shadows would have to work for now. "Look, I'm here because I wanted to see you. I needed to see for myself that you really are okay. I mean it's been eight months since I've last seen you. I know you're alive because the reports have kept coming, but…damn it Mandy, I've missed you."

Nixon really didn't mean to overhear the conversation, but now that he was here, he might as well stand and listen, because the ladies answer was going to be very interesting indeed.

He heard her sigh as it carried easily on the still air. "Matt, what do you think to prove by coming here? We had this conversation eight months ago and I told you then that what we had was done. How's your wife by the way?"

Matt growled low in his throat, "I don't know how she is. I've been transferred to Eisenhower's staff, damn it Amanda, I took the job to be closer to you."

Amanda shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. Matt had always been difficult to deal with, but now he was in Europe and his demands of her would only get worse if she didn't stop it now. "Look, you know I go back tomorrow morning, what do you want, just for me to drop into bed and spread myself for you? I think I'm whoring enough don't you."

"Amanda, I've never thought of you that way, you're serving your country not to mention avenging Marga, but all through this my feelings for you haven't changed. I still love you and I know when this is over we can be together, if you'll just give us a chance."

"Matt, do you realize that I can't think past tomorrow right now? I could be killed any moment and I've still not uncovered the double agent, but he's going to show himself I can feel it, it's only a matter of time." Reaching up she caressed his cheek, "why now Matt, why make promises when we both know you can't keep them."

Matt could only stare into her eyes; the sadness he saw broke his heart. The what ifs of a life time ran through his mind, all the things he wished he'd said before sending her on this mission. Opening his mouth to answer her question he found the words wouldn't come. Why was he suddenly now making her promises he should have made her before? Better yet, why make promises, why hadn't he just left his wife?

Smiling softly he cupped her face in his hands and leaned down to caress her lips with his. Smiling against her lips when he felt her hands wrap around both his wrists. Taking that as a good sign, he deepened the kiss and caressed her mouth with his tongue, absorbing her moan with his mouth.

Nixon took the opportunity of the two people being absorbed in one another to slip quietly away. Interesting that the Colonel and the spy had a thing going on, especially when he's married. He could almost feel sorry for them, the sincerity of the Colonel's feelings could be heard in his voice, along with the pain the lady herself was feeling. Sighing he headed off for his room, he still had a certain redhead to convince he was a good guy.

Amanda slowly pulled away from him and kept her eyes closed for a moment trying to hold that warm loving feeling just for one second longer. She knew the minute she opened her eyes the spell would be broken. The shuddering breath she released didn't help; it was time to face reality.

Opening her eyes, she met the warm brown ones of the man she could have loved. "Matt, I'm not going to stand here and try to convince you I don't still want you, because we both know that's a lie. But what I'll tell you is that I can't face this till the war is over. You've your job to do and I have mine." Releasing his wrists, she let her hands slide down his chest. A chest she'd spent many a night lying against. "Matt, please understand, for the last year my focus has been solely on staying alive, if I'm still alive when the war ends, then and only then will we discuss the future."

"Alright, but know that I'll be here and if you need me, please don't hesitate. I love you Mandy."

Watching him walk away, she did so with a humorless smile on her face. A year ago she'd have killed to hear those words whispered to her, now they brought no joy. Matt didn't know what he wanted, his wife had been ill for several years and that's why he'd never moved to divorce her. The funny thing was that only made her love him more, that he would continue to stand by her when he could have been free. Sighing she turned and continued on her journey to find a drink.

****

"Nix, where have you been? Your newest lady friend stopped by and she didn't look very happy."

Nixon mumbled under his breath and dropped onto his bed. "Yeah I didn't think she would be, but hey, I got pulled away for a last minute meeting. However, it turned out to be far more interesting than the red-head."

Dick cocked and eyebrow, "really, well that must have been some meeting; I've never known you to miss out on a date with such good grace."

"Well maybe that's because none of the briefers looked anything like the one we had this morning." Nixon shook his head, "I must admit that intelligence agents have definitely improved."

Dick laughed and returned to his letter writing. Based on Nix's little speech he could already speculate that the briefer had been a female. Dick decided to have a little fun with Nixon since the man was constantly doing it to him. "So I didn't realize that men now fascinated you Nix, is there something I should be concerned with?" He had only a moment to dunk the pillow as it came flying toward him.

Nixon's growl quickly followed, "no it wasn't a guy, in fact it was a very attractive blond with I'm sure an interesting back story to her life. I just happened to overhear a little of it when her and Colonel Decker were talking. Apparently they've had a past relationship that the good Colonel would like to continue."

Dick lifted a shoulder, "okay, so they had a past relationship. What's the big deal over that?"

Nixon smirked; he was going to enjoy this part. "Well it seems that the Colonel was and still is married, so that might be a slight problem." Pausing for a moment, he saw Dick's pen stop shortly before continuing with the letter. "Oh yeah I guess I did leave out the part where said female is also the mistress of a high ranking German officer."

Nixon couldn't contain the chuckle when Dick's pen dropped from his hand. "Yeah I thought that last statement might have gotten your attention. But it's a damn shame too, lovely lady, tall long legs, gorgeous blond hair and did I mention the nice assets?"

Dick turned to face him with a puzzled expression, "how could we let a female do that? Doesn't that seem a bit extreme to you, even to win a war?"

"Well you know that they say war is hell. Look I'm heading off to the pub, stay out of trouble while I'm gone will you." Pleased that he'd made the unflappable Dick Winters blush he decided that while he's luck was holding maybe he would work his charms on the redhead.

****

She sat alone at the far end of the bar, slowly nursing her drink. She quietly absorbed the sounds around her and appreciated that for this small fleeting time, she didn't have to have her guard up. The conversation with Matt kept replaying in her mind and her frustration level had risen. There was nothing she could do about him or their situation and tomorrow she'd have to have all her wits about her.

She'd be returning to Switzerland and then back to the French coast to join up with Kurt. She gave a small smile when she thought of him. He'd been sweet and loving to her, probably better to her than his own wife. She could see how Marga found it easy to stay with him. He'd given the vacation to Switzerland as a birthday present and she'd been pleased in many ways. The timing couldn't have been better, it allowed her to leave the country and travel to England undetected, but tomorrow she'd be back in the mask of Marga.

Frowning she thought of the worm that was Kurt's aide, Major Steffel. Something about the man worried her; he watched her too closely and seemed to always be hanging around, even when Kurt was away. When she'd made contact with Marga's people, they too voiced their concerns that he was possibly the double agent, but with no proof, they could do nothing.

She knew in her heart that he was the man who'd killed Marga. He'd seemed shocked and less than pleased when Marga had shown back up explaining to Kurt that she'd taken an unexpected trip to Munich to see a school friend who'd fallen ill. The cold look in Steffel's eyes only raised her level of concern, he was the one who shot Marga she just had no way to prove it just yet.

When Nixon entered the bar, his mood hadn't improved much. The redhead wasn't buy the fact that he had a meeting, shame to because for the first time he was honestly telling the truth. Glancing around he thought he might find a fellow officer to drown his sorrows with when saw her. Moving towards her, he had time to notice that she seemed deep in thought and was oblivious to what was going on around her. Maybe now might be a good time to talk to her since the good Colonel didn't appear to be anywhere in sight.

Sitting next to her, he said her name a couple of times with no response. Frowning he looked at her hand lying on the bar. Currently it was clenched so tightly her knuckles were white. Whatever had her attention couldn't be good, he quickly decided the only way to gain her attention was to lay his hand over hers.

The hand lying on top of hers caused her to jump in surprise. The man sitting next to her had a sheepish look on his face, but didn't withdraw his hand.

"Sorry, I called your name a couple of times, but I guess you were pretty lost in thought. I'm Lewis Nixon, I was at the briefing today."

Amanda looked at the man sitting next to her with a critical eye. He was attractive, with black hair and dark eyes. He was a man completely confident in himself, in another man it might have been arrogance, but in Lewis Nixon, it was something else. She could also tell he wouldn't take anything serious. Smiling she held her hand out, "well it's nice to meet you, I remember you from the briefing. You're the one that was more interested in my breast than the actual schematic of the western wall."

Nixon chocked on the drink he just taken and finally managed to get his breath. "Wow, you don't pull any punches do you? Sorry didn't mean to stare at them, but let's just say they were a hell of a lot more interesting that gun placements."

Amanda chuckled and patted him on the back, "don't worry, I want hold it or them against you." At the shocked expression on his face when he finally realized what she'd said, she gave a real laugh. "Wow, you are so easy, I didn't know men embarrassed that easily?"

He could feel his cheeks heat up and now regretted teasing Dick. "Well normally I don't, but I've never met a female who…who…"

"Who spoke her mind?"

"Well yeah, you're definitely different." He grew serious and leaned in closer to her. "So how does a woman like you end up in a situation like this?" He instantly regretted his question as he watched the humor fade from her gray eyes.

"It's a very long story which I would prefer not to discuss right now. Suffice to say I really didn't have a choice."

"Hmm, a lady of mystery I think I like that. So you're German by birth I'm guessing."

She laughed, "you change subjects quickly don't you, but to answer your question, yes I'm German. I came to America in 1941 and I've worked for Colonel Decker ever since."

Nixon nudged her shoulder, "so since I've already been caught staring at your assets, do I have a chance?"

Her laugh was low and throaty, almost seductive. "Not a chance sweetheart, I have too many men in my life right now."

Shrugging he picked up his drink, "well then a toast to your continued health and I hope I see you again."

Lifting her glass, she clinked it with Nixon's, "here's to your continued good health, you're going to need it as well."

****

_Normandy, France- June 5, 1944_

It was nearly midnight when she finally arrived back at the house she shared with Kurt. She'd made sure to pick up a couple of boxes of his favorite chocolates. The fact that the lights were still burning in his study didn't surprise her, he was known to work late into the night. Knocking on the door, she didn't want for him to answer but pushed it open, _"Kurt, I've brought you the chocolates you…what the hell are you doing?"_

Major Steffel was sitting behind Kurt's desk holding a pistol at the door. _"Well I was merely waiting for you to show back up. Your dearest Kurt was called away for a meeting and now it's only the two of us. I'm sure we have some things to discuss."_

She felt the shiver of fear skate down her spine. Steffel would never be in Kurt's study if there was any chance of him returning, which meant he was telling the truth about Kurt being gone. Licking her lips, she squared her shoulder's continuing into the room and laying the chocolate on Kurt's desk. _"Major I can't for the life of me begin to imagine what you and I would have to talk about. Other than your disrespect for General von Hoffer's desk."_

She watched Steffel's snake like eyes narrow in concentration. _"I just don't understand. I'd have thought since you survived our last meeting that you'd have learned your lesson, but now I find you're back at your games."_

_"Our last meeting…don't you mean to say since you failed to kill me? Is this what this is about, Kurt is gone so you're going to try and correct you mistake."_

The blow to the face caught her along her cheekbone slicing it open and knocking her to the floor. Bracing herself on her hands she managed to raise her head at watch as Steffel rounded the desk. _"You really must be stupid to defy me. I could turn you into the Gestapo."_

Feeling more confident, she wiped the blood from her cheek and managed to smile, _"you won't do that, you have no proof. It would be my word against yours and I'm sure we both know who'd win in that case don't we. So why don't you pack your things and request a transfer, I'll tell Kurt it's for the best that he find an new aide, one with more restraint."_

_"You filthy lying whore. This time I'll make sure, you're dead. Get up, we going outside, I can't waste time cleaning up the blood."_

Pulling herself up she turned to face him, _"so how exactly are you going to explain my disappearance?"_

Chuckling he shrugged, "_I'll just tell the General you never returned from Switzerland and that you must have turned on him, now move out the balcony doors."_

Moving towards the doors, she saw one of Kurt's jackets hanging next to the door. Reaching for it, she grabbed it quickly and opened the door. If she could only see a small chance she might distract him and get away, or at least throw off his aim enough keep from being killed.

Stepping out into the garden, the smell of flowers was almost overwhelming, the night was cool but still a little of the day's warmth remained. Closing her eyes, she had to wonder if these were her last moments on earth, if it was she could think of worse places to die. When they crossed the lawn and were on the edge of the forest that surrounding the manor, Steffel told her to stop.

_"You know my dear, you truly are lovely, and it's a shame that you'll meet your end. But as I told you in January, here is where I say, Auf Wiedersehn."_

The low rumbling noise from above them drew both of their attention to the sky. A moment later the Ach Ach filled the sky as the sound of hundreds of planes began to fill the night. Smiling she glanced at Steffel, he was still staring up at the sky in shock. The Germans had expected the Americans to do something but a full airborne invasion hadn't been one of them. Seeing her chance, she lunged toward him knocking him off balance.

Not stopping to see if he was completely down, she threw the jacket on covering her light colored dress and moved quickly for the woods. Behind her she hear Steffel roar in rage and two shots rang out bullets lodging in the trees to her left and right, she just had a few more steps to go before she would be completely hidden from his view. She knew it was dark enough that he was shooting blindly, not to mention the noise from the planes and artillery drowned out any noise she made running in the woods.

She slowed her pace slightly feeling she'd gained cover by entering the woods, it was going to be a long night and she had to conserve her energy if she wanted to find the Americans. Steffel's shouts of rage were fading behind her when the burning pain in her side staggered her, knocking her into a tree.

Reaching for her side, she pushed off from the tree and continued at a painful pace. Glancing down at her hand, she saw it covered in liquid that coated her hand in warmth. It didn't take a medical genius to figure out it was blood. The clock was now ticking and her fear escalated into sheer panic. If she didn't find an American unit soon, she'd face the same fate as her sister, dying alone in the woods.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters in this story. I have great respect for the real men of Band of Brothers.

Spoken German is written in Italics so nothing is lost in translation. :)

Chapter 3

_Somewhere in Normandy-1944_

Leaning heavily on a tree, Amanda tried to catch her breath and get her bearings. The pain in her side had gone from stabbing pain to a constant burning. She wasn't sure if that was a good sign or a bad sign, but she was still bleeding. The good news was at least it had slowed to a trickle, but she still felt lightheaded and dizzy.

Once the majority of the planes had passed and with only machine gun fire in the distance, the night had grown suddenly quiet. She wanted to cry in sheer frustration, she'd made so many twist and turns to try to keep Steffel from following that she'd lost her bearings and now couldn't be sure she was heading toward the coast. Her only thought was to put distance between them, but she was sure that Steffel would have other pressing duties with the invasion in full swing.

She was finding it hard to believe she'd not crossed one single paratrooper yet. Where were they? Pushing away from the tree, she began the slow walk toward the sound of a machine gun firing in the distance. She wasn't trying to be quiet, no matter who found her she knew she would be safe, the only problem now was finding that anybody.

The sound of a twig snapping to her right caused her to freeze. Her night vision wasn't bad, but with the trees currently obscuring any light she had no idea if it was human or animal that had made that noise. The sound of whispering voices carried on the still night air, reached her ears and she wanted to jump for joy when she finally heard English spoken.

"We're not lost trooper, we're in Normandy."

As the pair approached closer to her, she intentionally stepped on a twig snapping it with a loud crack. The shortest of the pair quickly raised his rifle in her direction while the taller one called out, "flash."

"Thunder." Stepping further in the small clearing, she kept her hands raised. She knew the jacket she was wearing would be a problem, but she hoped the high heel shoes and dress would show she really was no threat.

The shorter soldier, when he saw her, began to lower his weapon only to be nudged by the taller one to put it back on her. So much for code words. She stopped walking and waited to see what was going to happen next.

Dick frowned at the female that was standing two feet in front of them. She was smart enough to keep her hands in clear sight and she'd known the password, but the German officer jacket she was wearing had him confused. Moving toward her he made sure to stay out of Hall's aim, the last thing he wanted was to be shot in the back by a nervous private.

"Who are you?"

Amanda could have collapsed in relief, if the taller soldier was talking to her; he didn't intend to shoot her, at least not for the moment. "I'm Amanda Schmitt; I work for the war department, Colonel Matt Decker. I've been working undercover, please if you can get me to your higher headquarters they will explain." Leaning to the side, she saw his patch, "oh your 101st, do you know a Lewis Nixon?" She threw out the only name she knew in the hopes out of all the soldiers this one might know Nixon.

Dick frowned, "yes, I know Nixon, the question I have is how you know him? I think you're story is a little farfetched, but until we can get to the bottom of it, I guess you're coming with us. I certainly can't afford to let you go back and report our positions now can I?" Dick looked down at her shoes and motioned to them, "can you walk in those?"

She laughed, "oh yeah, I've been walking in them most of the night. Please, don't think I'm dangerous, I'm truly on your side."

Dick gave a non-committal grunt, "well I guess we'll see about that. We need to get moving." Waving a hand at the short soldier, he turned and motioned for her to follow as well.

Dick cast a glance at the woman walking silently beside him. There was a strong possibility that she was the woman Nixon had been talking about only two days ago, but then again she could be a spy for the Germans. There had been stories of the Germans using women to gain access to American bases and secrets.

If she was the later, she was doing a good job with her disguise. Her shoes were covered in mud, and the way she was trudging rather than walking gave the appearance of exhausting. She hadn't looked up once they began to walk; in fact, she seemed to find the ground more fascinating than the direction they were traveling in. Did that mean she already knew where they were going, or was she just that exhausted?

Dick was forced to focus on his surroundings when he heard noise from across the small creek they were walking along. Grabbing the female by the arm, he dragged her down with him wrapping his hand over her mouth to ensure she wouldn't cry out. He felt more than heard her soft moan as she leaned heavily against him. He had to admit he was relieved to see Lipton and two more soldiers cross the water and join them. Releasing the female, he stood to speak with Lipton and then quickly they all knelt again so he could get their bearings.

Lipton was watching the woman who was still kneeling with her head down. The woman looked exhausted. Tapping Winters on the shoulder, "hey sir, I thought Lieutenant Nixon was the one who always found the ladies, kind of surprised you'd find one out here."

Dick shook his head, "no more surprised than I was, but she's coming with us till we can turn her over to someone. I don't want to risk that she's a spy and will give away our position."

Amanda couldn't help but roll her eyes, she had to admit, that Winters appeared to be a competent officer and was only doing exactly what she'd have done if the position were reversed, but surely they could tell, even if she was fighting for the Germans she was too exhausted to do anything.

The new soldier that had joined the group broke into her thoughts when he grabbed an arm and helped her get to her feet. The burning pain in her side had returned to stabbing pain when Winters pulled her down, and now was keeping up its steady throbbing. Idly she wondered if she should say something but changed her mind. Winters didn't trust her and he might see this as a trick to slow them down. No, she had to keep her mouth shut, one foot in front of the other.

She didn't know how many hours later it was when they picked up another group of Americans, more that Winters seemed to know personally. Her energy was failing, only the fear that they would leave her behind to die kept her moving. When the entire group suddenly stopped, she walked into the back of Winters causing him to grunt. "Sorry."

Easing to the ground where he pointed she listened as the wagon below them drew closer. The laughing German voices attracted her attention as well as turning Winters and Lipton's attention on her. Swallowing she whispered, "they are talking about a lady they met and one of the young men…well he's no longer a virgin."

Winters frowned at her and for a moment, she wasn't sure he believed her, and then he nodded and pointed to a soldier wearing a different patch than him. "Stay with her, if she does anything to alert them, do what you must."

Curling her legs under her, she shook her head and watched the other soldiers move into position. She knew they were going to kill the German soldiers approaching the bridge and as sad as it might be, this was war. Sitting quietly she kept her head down, jumping slightly when the firing started but made sure not to move. When everything was quiet below the soldier with her pulled her to her feet and began to push her down the hill.

Cursing him under her breath she managed to stay on her feet and only bump into the one called Lipton who automatically reached to steady her. "Thank you sergeant." He nodded and moved off to help Winters leaving her alone again. She could only hope that when this night was over, she'd still have the energy to give her report to Matt before she dropped.

The sun had risen and they were finally moving along a muddy road where other Americans could be seen lounging around in what little grass there was. The group of German soldiers being held off by themselves had her dropping her head and putting Lipton between them. If she was to return to her undercover assignment, the last thing she needed was a POW by some chance getting away and remembering her too clearly.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Lipton was watching her more as they walked down the road. His look didn't appear to be one of worry that she would do something, but more one of concern. Leaning closer to her, "hey, you okay."

"Yes, just exhausted, I started my journey walking around midnight last night, I'll be thankful to sit down."

Lipton's name being called had him turning away from her. Everyone stopped as they waited for a decision on what to do now. She had to find someone in charge higher than the Winters. Sighing she shifted between feet trying to relive the pain in her feet as well as her side. Speaking of her side, she could feel her dress clinging to her entire left side. The jacket was the only thing keeping them from seeing the blood as it covered her to almost her knees.

"Hey, hey you still with me?"

Blinking she focused on Winters standing in front of her, "uh yeah, still here I'm sorry, guess I was lost in thought."

Winters took her arm and began to lead her over to one of the actual buildings. "Yeah well that must have been some deep thoughts; you were almost asleep on your feet. We're going to see LTC Strayer and he'll make the final decision."

Nodding her head, she followed alongside Winters. When they entered the dimly lit building, she was shocked to find it was a cattle barn that had quickly been converted into a battalion headquarters. The man giving the orders was about her height, hair a lighter shade of red than Winters, and blue eyes. He didn't stop his conversation but waved her and Winters over.

"Alright Dick, so how is it that you managed to find the only female roaming the woods at night."

Dick quickly explained finding Amanda and what her story was. The whole tone he used clearly said he didn't trust her or believe her and when Strayer began talking again his statement only reinforced it.

"Right well, when Nixon gets here will check with him and see if he can validate her story. Until then we'll need to keep her under guard. Dog Company has been guarding the prisoners so get me Speirs."

She'd decided to ignore them until they decided what to do with her. There was no use talking to them, they were only going to believe one of their own, you wait till she got her hands on Matt, she'd tried to tell him that the commanders should have been at the briefing as well.

"You wanted to see me sir."

She turned to assess the newcomer and almost took a step back at the look on his face. His eyes would have scared the demons straight out of hell and she was convinced if he was in the Gestapo, people would've confessed to anything to get away from him.

"Yeah Speirs, I need to you take the lady here and make sure she has no contact with anyone until we can verify her story."

The one called Speirs nodded his head, but never turned away from her. His eyes searched her face as if he could discern the truth merely by looking at her. Holding out his hand, he waved her over, the frown on his face increasing as he looked down at her feet.

Amanda sighed and figured if she went with him, then maybe she might be able to sit down. Taking one-step she was overwhelmed with a wave a dizziness that made the whole room begin to blur. The nausea and dizziness final won the fight for her to stay on her feet and she found herself falling to the floor.

Speirs saw her face lose all color and her body slowly began to slump. Moving quickly he was able to grab her up in his arms and then turned to look around the room. "Did none of you notice the woman was exhausted? Or that she left a blood trail?" His voice never raised and the coldness actually focused the men.

Stryer rubbed his face, "damn get her to the aid station and stay with her till we can get someone else. Find out why she's bleeding and get back to us." Glancing over at Winters, "did she say anything to you?"

Winters shook his head, "no, she just seemed tired and I figured traipsing through the woods in high heels had done that I had no idea she was injured."

"Well she better live, because if she is who she claims to be, there will be in big trouble if she doesn't."

****

"Mandy, Mandy, come on sweetheart open your eyes and talk to me."

She was so tired but the voice sounded familiar, in fact, it sounded like Matt, but why would he be here in Normandy? The last thing she remembered was being told to go with someone named Speirs. Cracking her eyes open she quickly shut them at the bright light that seemed to flood the room.

"Okay hang just a minute and let me close the blinds."

She heard someone step to the window and the sound of the shade being pulled. The light on the other side of her eyelids dimmed and she was able to crack her eyes open again.

"Hey, well I'm glad to see you're awake, you had all of us worried there for a while."

The smiling man sitting beside her confused her for a moment till the name finally came to the front of her drug-hazed brain. "Nixon right? Wow, I could have used you earlier."

"Yeah heard about that sorry, but it was an invasion. How you feeling?"

Moving a little in the bed, she felt sore all over but not dizzy like she was before. "Well I've felt better; I'm just sore, how long have I been here?"

"Oh just a couple of days, by the way you made a real impression on our resident grouch?" Nixon just laughed at the expression on her face. "Speirs, he's been by a couple of times to check on you, especially when he found out your story was true. Speaking of stories want to tell me what happened so I can get the message off to Decker."

Pushing up in the bed, she gave Nixon a critical look, "why would Speirs be interested in me?"

Shrugging he pulled out his notebook, "I don't know, he said something about not every day a woman passes out in his arms or some such like that. So want to continue with your story."

She retold everything to Nixon reinforcing that she wanted to go back to von Hoffer and that Steffel had killed her sister. The only way this would be successful is if she could return and convince the General, she'd been caught up in the invasion. "So how long do you think it'll take before you get a response back?"

"Depends, you're not going anywhere to we do, so what don't you lay back and relax, as soon as I hear something I'll let you know."

Nodding she closed her eyes. She had to admit she was tired and she might as well take advantage of sleeping while she could, if it were approved that she was going back undercover she'd have very little rest in the future.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep, but the light coming under the shade had faded to an almost pale pink. The sound of the door being pushed open caused her to close her eyes and pretend to still be sleeping. She couldn't imagine that Nixon had gotten a response that quickly, and right now, he was the only person she wanted to talk to.

The man who stepped inside pulled his helmet off and approached the bed so quietly she really hadn't realized he'd moved. The fingers that brushed her hair from her cheek almost caused her to jump, but the chuckle that followed did make her jump.

"You're pretty good at faking being asleep. I wouldn't have guessed you were awake until you jumped. How do you feel?"

"Sore. Who are you?"

When the man bent down and sat on the edge of the bed, she recognized the intense officer from earlier. "Oh so you're Speirs. I want to thank you for not letting me fall flat on my face."

"No problem, I'm just surprised no one else saw it. Good thing the bullet wound was in your side or you might not have survived."

She snorted, "yeah how about that, being lucky enough to get shot. Why have you been checking up on me?"

The silence in the room was almost deafening and for a moment, she began to wonder if he would answer then she saw him shrug in the gloom. "Well I was just curious, not every day in the middle of a war zone a beautiful woman faints in my arms. Glad you're okay though."

She chuckled, "wow, thanks for the compliment…I think. Uh, so why are you here now?"

"To see you again, we're moving out in the morning and well…are you going back?"

"I don't know, maybe I've got to wait to see what my boss wants. Why?"

He stood and put his helmet back on and started for the door leaving her a little frustrated by his lack of answer. Pausing at the door he turned back for a moment, "well if you don't I'd like to see you again, if you do, be careful."

When the door shut, Amanda actually laughed. Now wasn't this something, she passes out in the man's arms and he decides he's interested in her. She was convinced that her bad luck was never going to end.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters in this story. I have great respect for the real men of Band of Brothers.

Spoken German is written in Italics so nothing is lost in translation. :)

And all the roads we have to walk are winding

And all the lights that lead us there are blinding

There are many things that I would

Like to say to you

But I don't know how-_"Wonderwall", Oasis_

Chapter 4

She was bored; trapped in a small room while she 'healed' was driving her crazy. She'd not seen or heard from Nixon in the last couple of days and she was beginning to worry. Either he hadn't made contact with Matt or Matt had changed his mind about the entire mission. The one thing she did know that if she was going to be stuck here the least she could do was make herself useful.

The knock at the door brought a welcome reprieve to her thoughts. However, who walked through the door shocked her. "Well hello Lieutenant Winters. I did get the name correct yes?"

"Yes ma'am, uh how are you feeling?"

She smiled, the man was very uncomfortable in her presence, or maybe he just blushed very easily. "I'm much better thank you for asking. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

Dick closed the door behind him and cleared his throat. He hated that he'd put himself in this position but he felt the lady was owed an explanation. "Well first I wanted to relay a message from Nixon. He did pass on your message and still hasn't heard from Colonel Decker. He's sorry he couldn't get back to you himself, but has been rather busy."

Amanda nodded; she thought Matt was weighing all his options before he responded. The fact that she now had confirmed the double agent made the entire situation extremely dangerous. If she went back now and if Steffel survived the invasion, she had no doubt he'd try again to kill her unless she got him first.

Dick rubbed his neck, "the second reason I stopped by, I wanted to, well I needed to apologize."

She couldn't have been more shocked if he'd told her he could fly. "What do you mean apologize? What in the world do you have to apologize for?"

"Well I should have believed you and I should have noticed that you were injured."

She couldn't help but laugh, "no you shouldn't. When you found me you did exactly what I'd have done, been suspicious. Second, you had no reason to suspect I was injured, if anything I should have said something instead of trying to tough it out. You're a good officer and I believe a good man Lieutenant, nothing that happened was your fault."

Dick relaxed, "well I was also hoping that maybe we could get off to another start. In fact, I thought you might like some different clothes. I was able to find a uniform and some boots that I hope might fit. We're heading out in a few hours and I thought…well that is Nixon suggested you might want to go?"

She couldn't stop the smile that spread, "I'd love to go. If I have to spend, one more day trapped in this room with…with that woman checking on me every hour I'm going to scream. Tell me where I need to be?"

Dick laid the items on the bed, "just be downstairs in half an hour and I'll send someone to get you. Maybe when you see where we're going you can provide some insight on the German defense."

Exactly half an hour later, she was in front of the building looking for anyone she might recognize. When she saw one of the soldiers from D-Day walking toward her she smiled. "Ah Sergeant Lipton, correct?"

"Yes ma'am, Lieutenant Winters sent me to get you."

"Please sergeant, Amanda or Mandy, when you call me ma'am it makes me look over my shoulder for that evil nurse."

Lipton laughed, "alright then Mandy, I can see the whole dislike of the nurses, not to fond of them myself. You can call me Lip by the way, just easier."

"Alright Lip so where are we headed?"

"Carentan seems that we need to take the town to get the armor inland from the beaches. I'm sure the Germans don't want to lose it either. Any chance you could provide some insight."

Biting her lower lip she tried to recall anything she'd ever heard discussed about the town. She knew it was important, but the actually details for the defense were never discussed. In all honesty, the Germans probably never saw the need for it, but who could guess now. "You know, I don't want to give bad information and since I've been away a lot of things could have changed."

Lipton patted her on the shoulder, "don't worry about it. Even if you did know before I'm sure, everything is different now. Come on we need to hurry, don't want Lieutenant Winters thinking I lost you."

****

_Mourmelon, France_

Sliding deeper in the water, she tried to ease the tension that had found its way into her shoulders over the last month. She finally made a place for herself working with battalion and Easy. She found that the job was challenging as well as rewarding. She'd been able to provide intelligence on the units that had been operating in this area and last known troop strengths.

She'd felt bad about Carentan because she'd turned out to be little to no help there, except for helping Nixon interrogate prisoners and read documents. Nixon, now there was a character. She actually enjoyed the man's company and considering he'd found her a room to herself while they waited for movement back to England.

England, well that brought with it a completely new set of issues. Matt hadn't bothered to answer her request in the last month and the longer they delayed getting her back to von Hoffer the more complicated the explanation would have to be. She'd thought about sending a note to him herself, but then that could possibly give her away if the Germans managed to decode the message.

She was meeting Dick and Lew for diner later today so maybe they'd have heard something by now and if not, she'd have to figure out a way to stay with the 506th. The last thing she wanted was to be stuck in England where she couldn't get away from Matt. Part of her suspected that was the game he was playing by trapping her in England and try to woo her to his side. Well wouldn't he be in for a surprise, that ship had sailed and there was no way she was going to try to hop on board again.

The banging on the door from the other room had her growling. There was no way she was getting out of this nice hot bath, just to answer that door."

"Open the door; I know you're in there."

Smirking she pushed out of the tub and wrapped a towel around herself. Fine he wanted to see her, then he'd get to see her. Heading for the door, she jerked it open and leaned against the doorjamb. "Yes, you wanted something?"

It was worth tracking water across her floor to see Speirs standing there speechless. However when he started at her feet and took his time looking up she had to admit she was a little miffed. The fun of the entire situation was completely lost when he spoke.

"So we going to stand in the door with you catching your death of cold or will you let me in?"

Stepping out of the way, she let him in and frowned at his back. "How did you even know where I was?"

The slight lifting at the corner of his mouth gave away his amusement of the situation. "Well Nixon has a big mouth. Besides, I'd been meaning to stop by and see how you were, guess I caught you in the bath huh?"

Pushing her wet bangs of her forehead she sighed, "yes you did and had you not demanded my attention in such a sweet manner, I wouldn't have left it."

The look that passed through his eyes had her taking a step back. "Well you can always go back; I'll be a complete gentleman and stay right here until you call."

Amanda was accustomed to seeing lust in men's eyes, but here was a man with something darker than lust shining in his dark eyes. Hmm, wonder what color they are? She quickly shook her head to stop that train of thought. "Look I do appreciate you checking up on me but I don't believe it's necessary, so why don't you find someone else to watch over?"

She watched him actually smirk this time and take a step closer to her, "because, no one around here interests me as much as you." Reaching out he took a tendril of hair that had escaped her bun and ran it through his fingers. "How long is it?"

Swallowing she felt her throat tighten, there was something so sexual powerful about this man. "How long is what?" The voice that croaked out the question didn't even come close to sounding like her. What the hell was he doing to her?

"Your hair, how long is it?"

"Uh, oh that. Wait why do you want to know?"

With another step toward her, he was completely within her personal space and sizing up her lips like a man starved on a deserted island. When he lifted his eyes from her lips, she met his without flinching. "I'd like to know so that when I fantasize about us together, I can imagine your hair wrapped around me."

She felt the like she couldn't breathe. She should be completely outraged by what he'd just said, yet she found it the most erotic thing anyone had ever said or done. "Uh, Lieutenant, I think you, I think you should leave now."

Stepping back she quickly moved toward the door and opened it waiting for him to move past. As he drew even with her he leaned in to whisper in her ear, "I know what you're thinking, but trust me, this will happen."

As he cleared the door she slammed it shut behind him and was rewarded with hearing him chuckle through the door. Leaning heavily against it, she tried to cool her body and slow her heart. She couldn't deny he was attractive and well that whole sexual tension between them wasn't bad either but…

Pushing away from the door, she went back to the tub, resolved to grill Nixon on anything he knew about Lieutenant Speirs.

****

"Alright Mandy, what's on your mind? You've been eyeing me most of the night and I know for fact I've done nothing wrong…or at least not yet."

She gave Nixon her sweetest smile and used every bit of charm she had, "no, you've not done anything I was just thinking."

Nixon snorted and looked at Dick, "yeah when she starts thinking I get in trouble. Did I ever tell you what she did to me…"

"Focus Nixon, shouldn't we find out what the lady wants before we start running for cover."

"Why thank you Dick. Actually, all I want is some information. Some information about that Lieutenant who kept me from falling on my face." She watched as Nixon and Dick smiled at each other in the smug way that only men can. "Okay what?"

"Well let's just say I find it interesting that you are full of questions about him and I was practically held hostage until I answered questions about you." Nixon sat back in his chair and lit a cigarette. "He was very interested in you specifically where you were staying."

Dick looked between the two of them. Nix was entirely too happy with himself and Amanda looked ready to kill him. "Well I can see that I'm best used elsewhere, so Nix, Mandy, I'll see you both tomorrow. Oh and try not to hurt each other."

Nixon waved a hand in Dick's direction but continued to smirk at her. "So may I ask what has caused this sudden interest in Speirs?"

Shrugging, "I was just curious is all. He seems to know things about me and I just thought I would find out about him."

She jerked her head around to stare at him when he busted out laughing. "Oh baby, you might as well tell me what happened because you are red as a beet."

"Alright damn it, keep your voice down. He came to my room today and well he found me not quiet dressed."

Nixon's laughter stopped immediately, "what do you mean not quiet dressed? He didn't do anything did he?"

Sighing she dropped back in her chair, "no he was a complete gentleman, and I was wearing a towel, but there is just something."

"Oh so Sparky gets you hot and bothered. Got it, well let me tell you what I know."

By the time, Nixon finished talking Amanda wasn't sure whether she should run from him or to him.

****

_Aldbourne, England_

She felt like a thief. She knew that Matt had been looking for her and for the last few days, she'd managed to avoid him, but it wasn't going to last forever. In fact, she had to meet with him to determine if she was going undercover again or not. She was also a little aggravated.

Speirs had seen her a couple of times since the room incident yet he'd kept his distance, almost as if he was waiting on something. Well if he was waiting on her to come to him, he had another thing coming. Stopping outside Matt's door, she tensed herself to prepare, the thoughts of Speirs fleeing in the face of this new challenge.

Knocking on the door, she entered when he yelled. Closing the door behind her, she smiled at him. "Well I see that England is treating you well."

Matt didn't speak but stared at her. "Well where have you been? That unit you've been with came back three days ago and you're just now coming to see me?"

"Matt, don't start with me. Remember you've not answered on what you expect of me in over a month so what you think I should drop everything and come running to you?"

He stood and stalked around the desk, "what 'everything' is there for you to drop? Come on Mandy, I've chased you all the way to Europe and all I want is some time with you. Have dinner tonight and I'll give you your next assignment, I promise."

She shook her head, "blackmail? You've now resorted to this just to get me to spend time with you. Fine, dinner and that's all and when it's over you'll tell me where I'm going."

He reached out to stroke her face. "I've missed you Mandy, please can we just have a nice quiet dinner, the two of us?"

"I said fine." She grabbed his hand and pulled it away from her face. "But Matt, don't start anything we're done."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She'd known this was a bad idea and about the time desert showed up, she was convinced. She'd spent the entire meal trying to keep his hands from areas they shouldn't have been and right now, all she wanted was to go home.

"Look Matt, take me home. I don't care what you want me to do but I've had enough."

Had she not had her head down she'd have seen the glow of anticipation that came to his face. "Sure sweetheart, I'll just walk you home."

Taking her arm, he gave her very little choice in the matter. She couldn't believe that he was using his position like this. He'd never done this before and now she was trapped, but if she remained calm, he'd give the answer and she could get on with her life.

When they turned down a quiet street, she stopped and looked at him, "Matt where are we going?"

Pulling her close his lips covered hers, his tongue invading uninvited to stroke the deepest regions of her mouth. Through all this, she remained completely still. At one time, his kisses stirred great passion in her, but now they left her cold and sick by his attempts.

Releasing her lips, "Mandy, come home with me we can be good together, I'll start the move to leave my wife, please just let's be together again."

"Matt I can't. You're not going to leave your wife, so why even lie like that. Go home Matt before we ruin what little friendship is left between us."

When he grabbed both her upper arms and squeezed she winced in pain. "You mean to tell me that after everything I did for you, you feel nothing?"

"Matt you're hurting me, let go of my arms." She calmly stood her ground waiting for him to release her. When the pressure eased on her arms, she pulled away. "Matt stop making this so hard. I care for you and always will, but it's not what it was."

Pushing against him, she kissed his lips softly and stepped away. "Goodnight Matt, I'll expect to hear from you soon." Turning she walked back toward the house she was staying in never noticing the man who followed a discreet distance behind.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters in this story. I have great respect for the real men of Band of Brothers.

Spoken German is written in Italics so nothing is lost in translation. :)

Chapter 5

She couldn't believe how badly the night had gone. She'd always known that Matt could be a weasel when he wanted to, but tonight had taken the cake. Stopping she looked up and down the street trying to sort out which way to go. She should have paid more attention to where she was going.

The sound of shoes on gravel caused her to turn and look behind her, only to find the street empty. Swallowing hard, she now realized she was a woman alone on a dark street. Not a good position when she remembered there had to be at least a hundred men roaming around looking for company. Yep, time to move faster.

Rushing down the road that seemed familiar, she saw the house she had been staying in just ahead and slowed to a normal walk. She couldn't believe she'd just scared herself into running down a gravel road in heels.

Stepping up onto the stoop, she searched her purse for the key when a hand slammed into the door beside her head. With a thought she whipped around and stuck the derringer, she carried into the groin of the person behind her.

"Lady if you know what's good for you, you'll remove that pistol now."

Recognizing the voice, she pulled the pistol away and stowed it back in her purse. "Well that's what you get for sneaking up on me. What do you want? I've had a bad night and not really in the mood."

Reaching down he pulled the key from her hand, opened the door, and pushed her inside. "What I want is not to stand on the stoop and have this conversation. So you could have told me you were involved with someone."

His cold voice and the lack of light had her backing away from him. "Look, I'm not involved, not that it's any of your business. Have you been following me?"

He shrugged and moved closer to her finally backing her into the wall. "Maybe, but you and lover boy seemed kind of close, so what's the deal?"

Feeling the anger rise, she pushed him away with both hands and stepped around him. Walking over to a lamp she turned it on wishing immediately she hadn't when she saw his face. His eyes reflected his anger and he was once again giving her that cold heartless stare.

"Look, I don't owe you anything. I've thanked you for not letting me hit the floor, I've put up with your unwanted advances…"

"Oh now they're unwanted?! Well let me tell you sweetheart, you sure did act like you wanted it in France."

She waved a negligent hand at his comment, "well if you'd known what I've put up with in the last year then you'd know how good an actress I am." As soon as the words left her mouth, she wanted to kick herself. She had the distinct impression she'd just waved a red flag in front of a charging bull. His eyes were almost black and his lips had thinned out with restrained anger.

She watched him take another step toward her before he stopped and managed to get some control over his temper.

"Well I guess you have me there. I'd heard that you were mistress to a German officer, didn't know you were in the habit of screwing American officers as well."

"Oh you…bastard! I did what I had to do to survive and gain intelligence. However, I don't sleep around. What you saw tonight was one last desperate attempt by a man to hold on to something that has been over for a long time." Grabbing the door handle, she jerked it open. "Now get the hell away from me. God knows what is I ever saw in someone like you."

He stopped next to her and just stared at her. Her gray eyes were the color of the North Sea in winter and her cheeks were tinted red with the barely restrained anger. Frowning he thought about what he'd said to her. He'd been wrong but he'd be damned if he'd admit it now. "Before I go, you never did answer the question I asked."

He was almost amused with her sigh of exasperation. "What question?"

Smirking he reached behind her and freed her hair from the clip holding it up waiting as the golden blonde hair fell down past her shoulders to the middle of her back. Ignoring her sputtering rage, he snagged one of the longer strands and pulled it over her shoulder.

"Hmm, that's what I thought." Dropping it, he continued out the door chuckling when he heard her slam it behind him. He had to admit she was the most fascinating and responsive woman he'd ever met. Even in the mist of her anger, when he'd freed her hair, he'd seen her lick her lips and her eyes shift in color. He could only imagine how responsive she'd be if he ever got her alone.

Frowning he glanced back at the door. Tonight had definitely set him back in the

'getting her alone' department. He'd gone about the whole thing wrong, but when he'd seen her kissing that weasel of a Colonel, he'd seen red. It was bad enough he was competing probably with the entire regiment, the last thing he needed was a flame from the past mudding the waters. He'd have to ask Nixon about the connection.

She had never been so mad in her life. Of all the pigheaded idiot things anyone had ever done, he'd just taken the cake. Grabbing her clip from where he'd dropped it she quickly wound her hair back up and clipped it into place. Pacing around the small room, she had no idea what he was thinking.

"He wasn't thinking, that's what." Talking aloud seemed a good way to vent her frustration. "Who does he think he is that I would just fall at his feet? I've never fallen at any man's feet." As soon as the echo of those words had died, she stopped pacing. That last statement hadn't been completely true. She'd fallen at Max's feet. "Yeah and look what that got me, used as a door mat."

Turning off the lights, she headed upstairs to bed. Maybe a good night's sleep would calm her. After all, didn't everything look better in the morning?

****

"Amanda I wanted to start off this meeting with an apology before everyone arrives. I should have done it sooner, but I needed some time." Matt sat at the head of the table looking very remorseful. She had to admit staying mad at him had taken a lot of effort, much more than some other people she could mention.

"Look, its okay. I still consider you a dear friend, but I just believe for the sake of our working together, we need to let the past stay in the past." She watched as he nodded slowly. Giving him a smile, "but it's a very nice past to think about."

He laughed and stood to move to the briefing area, "yeah, well you were pretty great yourself."

The rest of the conversation died as they waited for the remaining intelligence personnel to arrive. They were going to be getting their first look at the British plan to invade Holland.

Matt had decided that after Holland they would send her back with von Hoffer. The intelligence they had gained indicated that Steffel was still alive but injured and that Hoffer had been searching for her since the invasion. The operatives still in place had spread the rumor of her being injured and possible evacuated to an American hospital.

They had spent the last few days behind closed doors preparing for her return behind enemy lines. She had to admit, she wasn't as excited about going now as she once was, and she would miss Lew and Dick. They had become good friends, something she hadn't had since Marga disappeared.

Sighing she brought her focus back to the briefing. This had the makings of a disaster; she could only hope the British weren't wrong about their intelligence.

****

_Nuenan, Holland_

"I knew we shouldn't have trusted those stupid Brits. Damn it they're going to get us all killed." She slid in beside Bull Randleman just as another shell from the Tiger tank flew over their heads.

"Yes ma'am, I think it's time to get out of here, before that tank gets any smatter about his shooting." Bull grabbed her under the arms and hoisted her to her feet, giving her a good shove for measure.

Diving behind the next wall, she waited for Bull and the remainder of his squad to fall in beside her. When Nixon had suggested she go along as another interpreter, she'd thought it would be fun. Fun had quickly turned into a nightmare when they spotted the Tiger tank hidden behind a building.

She should have known the British would be wrong about the intelligence. She recognized the markings on the tank, 10th Panzer. They shouldn't have even been in this area, which lead her to believe that it had to have been a mistake, or the British didn't listen to something.

The men beside her began to fall back further and when Bull pushed to his feet, she went with him. Only being armed with a pistol, she wasn't about to stop and fire back, moving was her best form of defense.

When the rounds began to land behind them on the road Bull pushed her into a ditch and followed her down. "Where is everybody?"

Shaking his head, he began to push her down the ditch back toward the original entry point to the town. "I've got no idea, but we've got to keep moving."

When a clanking noise from the road above them became louder they both looked up in shock to see a burning British tank rolling precariously toward them and along the edge of the roadway.

Turning back she and pulled head the opposite direction from where they needed to be going. "Damn it woman faster."

Seeing a chance, she crawled into a culvert with Bull right behind her just as the tank rolled into the ditch and exploded. Behind her, she heard him grunt then him telling her to crawl in further. Once they were half way through, they stopped and paused tried to catch their breath.

"Okay Bull, now what?"

Grunting and shifting to get more comfortable, he looked over, "well, I guess we're stuck here till dark, and then maybe we can move to another location. Once we get out of here, I think you need to look at my back. Think I might have something in my shoulder."

Shifting trying to see she shook her head, "yeah its' going to have to wait. I can't see anything in here. You doing okay though?"

Chuckling he nudged her with his elbow, "I think I should be asking you that question. You're the girl here."

"Ha, ha, I'm just fine sergeant. Remember I can play German." The humor coming through in her voice.

Bull laughed, "yeah but turning me in wouldn't get you much."

Sighing dramatically, "yes, now only if you were Nixon."

Both of them chuckled quietly and waited for the sun to set.

****

Dick shook his head in frustration, "how did this happen? We've lost Bull and Amanda, not good Nix. What happened to the intelligence?"

Nixon sat across from Dick and pushed his finger through the bullet hole in his helmet. A couple of millimeters more… "Dick, I don't know, but at least if they are both alive and he's with Mandy, he'll know what's going on around him and well, Bull will take care of her, you know that."

"I know, but gee's, I just don't understand? How did we not know?"

Nixon snorted, "easy. The British were arrogant and refused to listen to the underground that were very clear that an entire Panzer Division was parked outside of town. Look as angry as we are, it does neither of us any good to try and figure out the why, we need to worry about getting them back."

****

"Okay so turn around so I can get at it. Nice, that's a huge chunk of shrapnel; this isn't going to feel good. Give me your bayonet."

Taking his bayonet, Amanda worked as quickly as she could to pull the shrapnel from his shoulder. She knew it had to have hurt but he was steady as a rock, which she was thankful for since she wasn't.

Once she'd removed it, she ripped the lower part of her t-shirt and packed the wound dropping down beside him. "That's going to have to last for now. Sorry, I know that didn't feel that great, but when we get back; Roe can take care of you."

Bull glanced over at her as she slid down in the corner. "Why is it that a German would want to fight with the Americans?"

Cracking an eye open she smiled and closed it back. "What getting nervous being alone with me? Afraid I'll turn you in?"

Bull snorted, "nope, if you was going to you'd have already done it. No merely curious."

"You know what they say about curiosity and the cat sergeant?"

"Ya, well I ain't no cat. So you going to tell me or what?"

"Oh very well. My sister, that's why I'm here. She wanted to leave Germany, couldn't stand Hitler, next thing I know we're working for the war department and well here I am."

"Wow you have a sister? That's nice, older of younger?"

"I had a sister and we were twins, identical. That should solve the rest of the mystery. I took her place; look can we change the subject?"

Bull shifted suddenly uncomfortable, "sure I didn't mean to upset you."

"No you really didn't I just don't talk about her."

Before either could respond, the door to the barn cracked open. Bull laid his finger against his lips for her to be quiet and she nodded. She was one person you didn't have to tell twice.

When the father and daughter had finished collecting their eggs Amanda sent them on their way and settled back next to Bull to wait. Either the morning would bring a way for them to escape or they would be caught. Amanda spent the remainder of the night weighing her options if they were caught.

****

The jeep pulling up outside the barn shocked the both of them so badly that for a moment they could only stand and stare. Glancing at each other they quickly broke into smiles headed for the jeep, they were on their way back to safety.

Cheers and shouts greeted them as they pulled into Easy's area and Amanda hopped out of the back and went to find Roe so he could look at Bull's back. Finding the medic, she headed off to find Dick and Lew when someone stepped into her path.

Excusing herself, she tried to step around them only to have them step with her. Getting annoyed she finally looked up and met Speirs eyes. "Well if it isn't my favorite Lieutenant." Sarcasm dripping from every word.

He lifted an eyebrow in amusement, "what you're still mad at me?"

Crossing her arms she shook her head, "look I'm tired and hungry so why don't we cut to the chase, what do you want?"

She dropped her arms quickly as he stepped forward well within her personal space. She suddenly realized what a bad habit of doing that he really had. What was worse is that his normally cold eyes had softened and she felt her resolve begin to weaken.

Leaning in he spoke in a voice so low she could barely hear it, "I'm really glad you made it back." As the words left his mouth, she saw he begin to lean toward her and licking her lips in anticipation, she leaned closer to him to meet him half way. Letting her eyes drift closed she waited for the feel of his lips on hers. His body heat was rolling off in waves and she couldn't wait to be burned by his heat.

"Okay Easy company, let's go, form up."

At Lipton's command, her eyes snapped open and he was already ten feet away from her walking back toward his part of the line. Growling low in her throat, she was contemplating all manner of bodily harm to the Easy Company First Sergeant. How dare he cause her to be denied what she wanted so badly?

Taking a deep breath, she continued on to where she saw Nixon and Dick. The smirk on Nixon's face told her he'd seen everything. Damn and just when she didn't think the day could get any worse.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters in this story. I have great respect for the real men of Band of Brothers.

Spoken German is written in Italics so nothing is lost in translation. :)

Another girl with her finger  
On the world singing to  
You what, you wanna hear  
Another gun thrown down and surrendered  
Took away your fear  
Hey  
Another man that stands right behind you  
Looking in the mirror "_Another Way to Die", Jack White/Alicia Keys_

Chapter 6

Walking toward Nixon and Dick, she squared her shoulders and met Nixon's secret smirk with a lifted eyebrow.

"So you want to tell me about that…"

"Nope so don't ask. Especially if you know what's good for you."

Nixon's chuckle followed closely behind her. "So I guess that the two of you have this little love hate thing going on huh?"

Sighing she stopped walking and Nixon was so close he nearly walked into her. "Look, because I like you I won't shoot you. Keep asking me about it and I might change my mind."

"Well I just thought that since you're looking a little flushed you might want to talk about it." When he saw her hand move to her hip where the pistol was holstered he quickly held up his hands in defeat. "But I can see that I was mistaken, I defer to the ladies desires."

Dropping her hand, she started down the road toward regiment. Maybe she should just shoot them all…put them out of her misery.

****

_Mourmelon, France_

"So you're leaving tomorrow?"

She looked up from the file on her lap, "yes tomorrow morning. We've made sure to keep the story the same so it shouldn't be a problem, or at least I hope not. The double agent will be the issue. He's not going to be very happy to see me."

Nixon sat across from her, "are you sure this is such a great idea, I mean the guy thought you were dead for the second time and now you're going to show up again?"

"I've no choice Nixon; I refuse to have let Marga have died in vain. If I don't go back and try my best to provided information to the Allies she will have died in vain." Smiling she lifted an eyebrow, "I also owe a certain Major something and I plan on making sure he gets his."

Nixon scratched his chin in thought. "So what do you want me to tell a certain person should they ask?"

Frowning she looked up at him with a confused look, "why would anyone ask about me? Matt knows where I'm going and so does Dick so what am I missing here?"

"Sweetheart, you have to be the most non-observant spy I've ever met. Speirs, that's who I'm talking about, now before you go getting yourself in a snit, I've seen the way the two of you look at each other so stop trying to deny there is something going on."

Sniffing and looking back down at the file, "I'm not denying anything. I'll admit that I find him…well interesting but I don't have time for that kind of complication. In case you've not noticed, I've barely managed to keep Matt off my back, the last thing I need is to try and juggle another man."

Nixon ruffled her hair, "well don't stay up to late and maybe I'll see you tomorrow before I leave. Be careful okay, I'd like to see you back here healthy."

She watched as he crossed the room and left her alone in the small room she'd been staying in. The small bag sitting beside the door held only small personal items that she would be taking with her and somehow she suddenly wished she wasn't going.

She was tired of the games and the stress of being someone else. If she were honest, she enjoyed the company of the men she'd made friends with. Dropping the file on the table she went to the window and was shocked to realize that dark had come so early. Looking at the small clock she was surprised to see it was eight at night, much later than she'd thought.

The night was the worst time for her, the time when she was reminded of how alone she really was. There was no lover, no husband and no children, how long would she be alone? Sighing she sat back down in the chair and looked around the small room, how sad could one person's life be?

Sighing she stood and began to undo her dress when a knock came to the door. Smiling she headed for the door, "okay so what did you forget Nix?"

When she saw him standing in the doorway she began to back up without closing the door watching as he stepped inside and softly closed the door behind him. "You know you are hard to catch up with."

Swallowing she did her best to put on her normal front, "yes, well did you ever think that was because I was avoiding you?"

His soft chuckle caused her skin to tingle. Whatever it was about him that put her on edge was hard to deny when he was standing less than a foot from her. She watched as he stepped closer and reached to release her hair before she could move.

Opening her mouth to give him a piece of her mind she found the words frozen in her throat when he ran both hands into her hair grasping it in his hands close to her scalp. The intensity of his eyes had her breath coming in gasps. Watching as his head lowered she closed her eyes in anticipation, having no idea why she was letting him do this to her.

Instead of feeling his lips cover hers, she felt his lips brush gently across her eyelids, moving slowing to her cheekbones. Sighing she leaned in closer to him, letting her hands lay softly against his chest.

When his lips finally covered hers, she clenched his uniform in frustration at the softness of his lips on hers. Gently his lips began to caress hers his tongue barely touching the seam of her lips. The hands in her hair tightened further pushing her closer into his body.

Sighing into his mouth she met the tip of his tongue with hers, sliding her hands into his hair trying to force him closer. Feeling him chuckle low in his throat, she felt one hand release her hair and wrap around her waist pulling her flush against him. In that moment, there was no doubt, what he felt for her, his arousal heavy and hard against her leg.

Moving that leg slightly she rubbed against him. The growl that followed sent a thrill through her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Her tongue easily slid inside his mouth; caressing him in a way that left little doubt as to how she would caress him elsewhere.

When she finally began to feel lightheaded she pulled back releasing his mouth to being its slow slide down her neck to the collar of her dress. His words were so hoarse and spoken against her neck she barely heard them. "God I want you so bad. I wish I knew…"

She would have liked to agree with him, but couldn't force her brain to work long enough to answer his unspoken question with anything other than a moan. Her heart was pounding so hard it sounded like a drum in her head.

"Mandy, it's me Matt. Open the door I need to talk to you."

Jerking her eyes open she pushed him away from her and stood panting trying to gain control of her racing her. When she met his eyes, she saw they were black with lust. When he reached for her cheek, she leaned into his hand when he stroked her.

His voice was soft and still filled with passion, "you're eyes remind me of a winter sky in Maine." Leaning in he brushed his lips softly across hers once again. "I'll see you later." Releasing her, he headed to the door, opening it and passing Matt like it was the most normal thing.

Matt turned to look at her, "who the hell was that? What's going on Mandy?"

Jerking him inside the room, she shook her head. "None of your business, now what do you want?"

****

_Belgium_

"_Oh my darling, when they told me you were missing I thought I'd never see you again."_ Kurt pulled her close into his embrace and she let herself relax into his arms, even managing to tear up for effect.

_"Kurt, I was so scared, I'm just so lucky that Her Schiller found me and his family took me in. They killed the driver and I…I…oh I can't think of it anymore."_

The man that had been her lover for the last year pulled her close and stroked her back like she were a small child. Kurt wasn't the monster everyone portrayed him to be. In fact, he was a kind and gentle soul, with one failing, his unquestioning loyalty to Hitler.

"_Well now that I have you back, you'll not leave me side again. I should have been with you myself instead of just sending the driver."_

Gracing him with a gentle smile, "_yes and I'm so disappointed that I couldn't give you the Swiss chocolates you're so fond of."_

His laughter filled the room and he pulled her to the couch to sit beside him, _"oh little one, you're always concerned with my happiness. You are too good to me, I don't deserve you."_

When another Major entered with coffee and cake, she gave him a frown but remained silent. She could see Kurt watching her from the corner of her eye. Somewhere in this lay a test of her loyalty to him. When the door had closed behind the Major she turned to Kurt, "_but where is Major Steffel? I know you wouldn't have left him behind?"_

She saw the muscles in his face relax and the tone of concern for his aide in her voice. Shrugging he leaned forward and prepared a coffee for her, _"well unfortunately Steffel was also injured and will rejoin us in Bastogne. Very unfortunate, this new aide is not as efficient as Steffel."_

Humming in agreement, she hid her smile behind the cup. Steffel would link up with them at Bastogne, which would give her time to work her wiles on Kurt and ensure that when proof of Steffel's betrayal came out, it would not be questioned.

Sipping her coffee, she sat it aside and slid closer on the couch to Kurt, lightly running her fingers down his leg. "_So would you like to kiss my wound and make it better?"_

She laughed as he swung her across his lap and stood with her in his arms, _"yes, I do believe that some attention should be paid to that."_

****

After a week of trying to find her his temper won the battle with his ego and he approached the one person who would know exactly where she was.

"Alright Nixon, where is she and why the hell is she avoiding me?"

Smirking he leaned back in his chair, "what did your pass not make you feel better or are you normally this grumpy first thing in the morning?"

The low growl that drifted across the room only made Nixon's smile wider. "Ah, so let me guess you are searching for Mandy? Hmm, that I guess I win the bet with her."

"Nixon stop talking in circles and tell me where I can find her. The woman has been avoiding me for the last week."

Nixon shook his head, "can't tell you?"

Deciding a firmer hand was needed; Ron leaned across the desk and gave his most intimidating look. Had it been anyone other than Nixon it probably would have worked. "Look Speirs, glare all you want, a couple of things you need to understand. First one is the fact that I honestly don't know where exactly she is, second is that even if I didn't know for security reasons I can't tell you."

"What do you mean you can't tell me, she's here in Mourmelon, how is that a huge security secret."

Nixon let the front legs of the chair he'd been sitting in drop forward to the ground. "What do you mean here in Mourmelon? She left a week ago to return to her mission. Oh, she didn't tell you did she? Damn, I want credit for the fact I told her to tell you."

"Nixon so help me if you don't spit it out you're going to get hurt."

He held up his hands, "alright calm down will ya. She went back to her undercover mission, she back with the Germans. I tried to tell her that she should explain everything to you, but she's as stubborn as you are. I can't say anymore I'm sorry. But if I hear something I'll let you know."

Nodding Ron spun on his heel and headed back to his company. The fact she hadn't been completely honest with him didn't surprise him. He knew there was something about her that didn't make sense; he'd have just never dreamed it was undercover behind enemy lines.

"Lieutenant Speirs, you're need back at the company CP apparently we just got orders to move out."

Sighing he took off at a jog, if nothing else getting back in the fight would get his mind off Amanda.

****

_Bastogne Belgium-German Headquarters_

Major Steffel slowly lowered his aching body into the chair. His leg was killing him and the cold was not helping. He'd only been back two weeks and the constant moving was not giving his leg time to rest. Rubbing the thigh, he tried to get the muscles to relax instead of spasm in painful twitches as they were now.

Reaching into his desk, he pulled out the pain pills and dry swallowed two. That should at least take it down to a manageable level so that when General von Hoffer arrived he'd be able to take care of things.

The crunching of tires on snow had him groaning. The pills hadn't even been in him system but for a moment or two and Hoffer was here. Pushing to his feet, he straightened his uniform and waited. The very feminine giggle from outside had him frowning. He'd not been aware that the General was bringing company. When the door opened and the General entered, the familiar blonde head beside him nearly had him screaming.

_"Ah Hans you're here. Good, so I'm assuming you have my rooms ready, see to it that the bags are brought in. Oh yes, Marga is back with me once again, isn't that wonderful."_

Steffel smiled politely. He knew the General was watching him and judging from that smug smile on Marga's face, the bitch had once again secured her position. Bowing in her direction, _"yes, it's wonderful to see Fraulien Schmitt back with us once again. I hadn't been aware that she was with you."_

The sultry laughter from Marga had him grinding his teeth, "_oh we thought it would be better to surprise you, wasn't that right Kurt?"_

As he watched the two of them, he felt the anger rise to an almost uncontrollable level. Clenching his lips together in a form of a smile, he waved his hand behind him, _"Sir, your office is here and I'll make sure your bags are taken care of."_

Before he could move, Marga approached him and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, _"please sit Major, I know you aren't well yet, let Kurt get to work and I'll take care of everything."_

Kurt smiled fondly at her, _"see Hans you need a woman like her to take care of you. Don't be too long love."_

She blew him as kiss and smiled until the door closed. The instant it did she hit Steffel in the leg causing him to collapse back into the chair. Leaning over him, she gave the most innocent smile, _"oops, did that hurt?"_ Before he could respond she tapped a finger against his lips, _"careful Hans, we wouldn't want the truth to come out now would we. I'm completely healed you can't say the same. So I recommend you tread softly in my presence or you'll have a very unfortunate accident."_

_ "You bitch, you wouldn't dare!"_

_ "Oh, I'm afraid I would. See this is a war zone and such terrible accidents can occur."_ Leaning in further she dropped her voice to a hiss, _"besides, seems like I owe you."_ Patting his face, she moved away from him till she was on the opposite side of the desk.

_"Good night Hans. I would wish you sweet dreams, but somehow, I think you'll just have problems sleeping period."_

He watched as she gracefully slid away from him. Clenching his hands tightly under the desk, he took several deep breaths to calm the rage that threatened to consume him. This was a more dangerous game than ever. Now they both knew about the other. This time when he shot her, it would be through the head.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters in this story. I have great respect for the real men of Band of Brothers.

Spoken German is written in Italics so nothing is lost in translation. :)

Chapter 7

_Bastogne Belgium-German Headquarters_

She watched the soldiers run across the frozen terrain and shivered as the fog from their heated bodies began to rise above their heads, mingling with the surrounding cloud cover. She hated the cold and always had; now she was trapped in what had to be the coldest place ever.

Kurt was kept busy trying to keep the Americans surrounded in Bastogne. Steffel was busy watching her watching him. Somehow they had managed to find neutral ground, for now at least.

They had moved from town to town surrounding Bastogne making it more difficult to provide information on the troop movements. Traipsing through the woods at night around here could quickly become hazardous to a girls health. Glancing over her shoulder she could see Kurt and another officer discussing something that was on the map laid out. She couldn't hear them and getting closer was too risky. Since moving to Foy it had become harder to find information and then figure out ways to get it to the Americans in Bastogne.

When they'd first moved into the area she spent late nights establishing contacts that could pass information, now with the circle tightening and the Germans becoming more concerned about a counter attack, getting letters to the encircled 101st was a real problem.

Every time the Germans fired into the woods she cringed. Nixon and Dick were out there and she knew if something happened she'd be months finding out. Her inner voice decided to remind her that he was there too. Frowning at her reflection in the window she tried not to think too hard about him, but was currently failing miserably.

When she felt the arms come around her waist she jumped, _"oh I'm sorry darling, I thought you heard me. What is it that has you so deep in thought?"_

Turning she smiled at Kurt, _"nothing I guess I was simply daydreaming. So is your meeting finished?"_

Releasing her he stepped up to gaze out the window. _"Yes for now. These American's are stubborn. I don't understand why they continue to sacrifice good men, to hold one little town."_

Laying her head on his shoulder she quickly changed the subject, it would never do for her to appear too interested in military conversations. _"So what is it you would like for Christmas?"_

_"Humph, home in my own bed."_ Seeing the hurt expression on her face he quickly moved to explain, _"no, it's not what you think. I'm just tired and well I'd hope to wait a little longer to tell you, but I must leave you alone again. I've been called back to Heidelberg. But I'll bring you something nice if you'd like?"_

_"That would be nice, so do you want me to stay here then?"_

He patted her hand, _"of course, the German position is strong, you'll be safe here. I'll leave Hans with you; he's still in no condition to travel."_

_"Of course my darling."_ When Kurt turned to go back to the meeting she let the evil smile she'd been hiding come through. This was the chance she'd been waiting for, Steffel was staying with her and that would give her a chance to take care of him for good.

****

_Bastonge, Belgium-American side_

Nixon did his best to shift position without dislodging any of the blanket he'd so carefully and painstakingly tugged around him. Growling in frustration he jerked the blanket back and moved positions. He had no idea what the point of trying to stay warm was. At this point, he didn't think he'd be warm ever again.

"Nix, hey I know you just got in, but someone's here to see you."

Letting his head drop back against the wall of the foxhole he thought about ignoring Dick and faking sleep. But if it was important enough for Dick to bug him then it was important enough that Dick would wake him up. "Yeah, be there in a minute."

When he walked into the tent that was currently serving as the CP he was shocked to see Speirs standing there. "What are you doing here? Looking for small children to scare?"

"Funny Nix, no I want to know if you've heard anything from Mandy?"

Rubbing his face Nixon cooled his temper. He couldn't believe that Dick had gotten him up for this. "No nothing, look I told you if I heard something I'd let you know."

Nixon watched the other man pace the small space, then tension rolling off him in waves. The thing Nixon couldn't understand is why he was so interested. As far as he knew there was really nothing between the two of them. "Look, Ron, you need to relax. I'm sure when she can she'll contact us, but you know as well as I do, it would be putting her life in danger if she was careless."

Speirs stopped pacing and pulled out one of his last cigarettes, "look, I just want to know where she is and that she's okay."

"For the last time, I don't know." The last three words were shouted and Dick who'd been a good twenty feet away looked over and lifted and eyebrow in question.

When Nixon shook his head Dick returned to the conversation he'd been having with Doc Roe. "Look Speirs, I'll find out everything I can if you'll just leave me alone."

He didn't like it, but knew he'd probably already pushed Nixon too far, so he gave a quick jerk of his head in agreement. "Fine, sorry I bothered you."

Nixon watched him go clearly confused. Dick nudged his arm and nodded in the direction Speirs went. "You want to tell me what that was about?"

"No, not really I've got to get some sleep. If anyone comes looking for me under the rank of General…tell them I'm dead."

****

_German Headquarters_

She paced her bedroom waiting, not patiently, but waiting none the same. She'd been watching Steffel's routine carefully. She knew he was still in pain from the shrapnel wounds, and while Kurt had been here he'd taken fewer painkillers. But tonight, tonight was her night. She'd seen him take his normal one late in the evening, never knowing she'd put two more in his coffee.

Smiling she couldn't help but feel elated. She knew you shouldn't feel happy murdering someone, but she felt confident that in this case…that she was owed a little happiness. Her only regret is that he was so drugged he'd never feel the pain, he'd never hurt like Marga had. She only wished she could inflict a little of that torture on him.

The noise slowly began to diminish and checking her watch she saw it was nearing midnight. After midnight the night shift would take over and there would be very few people around to see or hear anything. Also that would keep people from coming in an interrupting her.

Double checking the Luger she cracked the door and looked left and right, seeing only a pale light in the hallway. Kicking off her shoes she picked the pistol up and dropped it in her pocket. The chill from the floor was worse than she'd thought and her feet felt frozen to the spot. She had to get moving, his bedroom was only two down from hers, and she could easily slip in and out if she was quick.

Cracking his door she held her breath and peeked inside. The man in question was on his back with one arm thrown above his head snoring slightly. Smiling she quickly slid her body in and eased the door closed with a tiny click as the lock slid into place.

Balancing on the balls of her feet she quietly made her way to his side of the bed pulling the pistol from her pocket. Glancing down at him she found that even the hate that had driven her for so long was fading, almost to nothing. All that was left was the dull empty ache of loneliness.

Ensuring she was on the correct side she pressed the pistol to his temple, her intent was to make it look like a suicide. Squeezing back on the trigger she waited for the weapon to discharge.

The pounding at the door almost caused her to nearly drop the weapon.

_"Herr Major, wake up. General von Hoffer is on the phone and he says it's urgent."_

Jerking the pistol back she moved quickly across the room and hid behind a chest of drawers. Damn she'd been so close. Pulling herself tighter into the corner she was able to watch the room and still not be seen. The young soldier ran in finally managing to shake Steffel awake.

She smirked at how drugged he still was, she doubted he'd make much sense when he got on the phone with Kurt. But worse yet, she'd missed a very good chance and would now have to work to find another opportunity to set him up again.

Waiting till she was sure they were down the hall she quickly crept back into her room and placed the pistol back in its hiding place. Glancing at the back of the closet she could see the winter uniform she'd stolen and hid never knowing when it might be needed. Frowning she closed the closet door and leaned heavily against it. It would appear that the uniform would be needed sooner rather than later.

****

Hans watched the woman across from him. Frowning he tried to pinpoint exactly what was different with her. When the General had left she'd become very quiet almost withdrawn. She'd stopped baiting him with looks or comments and in fact appeared bored with his existence.

The guards he'd had watching her reported that she went to the makeshift hospital daily treated the wounded and returned here every evening retiring to her bedroom where she remained until morning. Something was off and he couldn't put his finger on it. Not that he'd had the time. Christmas was only three days away and there was news that an American armor unit was on the move. He had to be ready just in case they moved this way.

_"So Han's if you happen to speak with Kurt today, please tell him I wish him a Merry Christmas. Good day."_

Grunting his reply he watched her leave more nervous than ever. Something was going on and tonight he had to meet with the American contact in order to pass on the fake information. Whatever was going on with her would have to wait.

When Han's had sent word that he wouldn't be joining her for diner she knew that this was her one last chance. Claiming a headache she retired to her room and sent for some tea and toast. Waiting until the young soldier set it on the table and thanking him for his kindness she moved quickly the moment the door closed.

Rushing to the closet she threw on the winter uniform tucking her hair up inside the cap. She wasn't as stupid as Han's thought she was and knew that the guards would check on her in an hour and quickly made her bed to appear she was sleeping to include a wig she'd found.

Easing the window open she dropped to the ground below and hurried to the car that sat idling slipping easily into the back. Sitting in the floor she waited patiently until she heard Hans dismiss the driver and get in himself and pull the car away. Giving the situation another couple of minutes she eased from the floor and quietly put the pistol against the base of his skull.

_"Well good evening Major. Nice night for a drive isn't it? My, my where would you be going on a night like this? It wouldn't possibly to pass on bad information?"_

_ "You bitch I should have known. What do you want?"_

_ "Very simple, you are going to follow the road for about a mile more then you'll stop the car and you and I are going to take a little walk in the woods."_

_ "Are you insane, that's close to the American lines, you'll get us killed."_

_ "Hmm, I never thought of that. But you see, I don't care, you're going to die tonight one way or another and why not let the American's kill you? At least that way you might not die a traitor."_

She watched as his hands tightened on the steering wheel. She could almost read his thoughts. He was thinking about wrecking the car and possibly killing her in the act.

_"Now now Major, I know you are thinking about running this car into the ditch and maybe getting lucky enough for me to die or be hurt badly enough to allow you to escape, but if you so much as twitch again, I'll shoot you now and take my chances."_

His growl echoed in the car and caused her to laugh. She really was enjoying this. _"Alright, this is far enough. Pull over and turn of the ignition and had me the keys."_

He did as he was told and they moved out of the car as one and began the hike into the woods. She paused often to listen, knowing roughly where the American line was but not wanting to get too close.

_"Alright that's far enough. Get on your knees."_

When he turned to face her the same defiant look he'd always worn wasn't so confident now. _"No and you can't make me."_

Shrugging, _"yes I can."_ Pulling the trigger she put the bullet through is good leg high in the thigh causing him to drop to the ground. _"See, told you I could. Now shut up before we have more attention than we want. It's over and I have documents that will prove to either the Americans or Germans, whichever find you that you're a traitor to both sides."_

Moving closer she pushed the gun against his forehead, her eyes never leaving his. "_Before you die there is something you should know. The woman you shot the first time did die, she was my sister Marga. We were identical twins that's why you thought you'd failed the first time. So you see this time I'll be saying Auf Weidersehn and I'm not taking chances."_

She took one step back and pulled the trigger the echo of the shot dying away in the frigid night. Pausing she looked up at the fog covered sky and drew a deep breath releasing it slowing. The anger and pain she'd been feeling for the last two years was gone, now she could move on. Tossing the gun down she quickly putting the damaging documents into Steffel's jacket and walked back to the car.

****

_506__th__ Headquaters, Bastogne_

"How many times do I need to tell you I want those intelligence reports immediately? Damn it, we have to know what's going on out there. Has anyone heard from Nixon?

Sink threw the reports down on the desk. He was fed up with the new intelligence officer he'd been sent, but having Nixon out in the field was more important, but yet this guy was afraid to go out and get the latest intelligence from Nixon. Sighing he closed his eyes and gripped the area around the bridge of his nose. Damn did he have a headache.

"Uh sir, there's someone here to see you?"

Opening his eyes he glared at his clerk, "if it's name ain't Nixon I don't want to see them."

"Well sir, this isn't Captain Nixon, but well sir, it's a woman dressed in a German uniform and she said…"

"Well what did she say son, spit it out."

"She said she didn't have time to listen to some old man tell her he didn't have time."

Laughing he wave at the clerk, "bring her in, I know who it is."

Amanda entered the room and cocked an eyebrow at Sink, "well I see that your mood hasn't improved."

"Well I see you are dressed to impress. Where the hell did you get that?"

Dropping in a chair, "where do you think I got it? The German Army has lots of winter clothing. So can you give this to Nixon, it's kind of important. I need to get back." Standing she headed to the door pausing to look back, "oh and if you intend to invade Foy, morning is best and well you better move fast, they are waiting."

Sink looked at the letter in his hand and then watched the woman who'd handed it to him walk out. Damn if he didn't know better he'd have sworn it was a German soldier walking away from him.

****

Nixon looked at the letter in his hand and headed into the Dog CP. "Hey, I'm looking for Speirs, you seen him around."

The Commander waved off to the right side, "yeah he should be out there about twenty or thirty feet. Is there something wrong?"

"Nope, just need to give him something." Heading down the line he found Speirs leaning up against a tree smoking a cigarette. "Well glad to see you're doing well, I've got something for you."

Speirs took the letter and frowned, "what's this?"

"Well you see I've got no idea, Colonel Sink told me to get that to you under threat of death. Seems that the person who delivered that took a great risk seems they think you're worth it. Make sure you are."

Speirs watched Nixon walk over with a scowl on his face. Nixon was constantly carrying on with silly things this was obviously another one. Ripping open the letter he immediately noticed the writing was very feminine.

_Ron,_

_ Meet me tomorrow night in Bastogne at the bombed out building next to the church. I'll be waiting._

_ A_

He smirked and folded the letter and stuffed it in his pocket. Yep, tomorrow night would be a very good Christmas Eve.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters in this story. I have great respect for the real men of Band of Brothers.

Spoken German is written in Italics so nothing is lost in translation. :)

Chapter 8

Bastogne looked worse than it had just two days ago. Just like those men out on the line, Bastogne had suffered her own battering. The shelling had gone on for only a short time, but to those on the receiving end, it'd seemed more like a life time. Based on the damage done to the town she now had serious doubts of Ron showing up. Was he okay, how many of his men had been hurt or killed?

Sighing she paced to keep warm and to try and calm herself. She had no idea why she was taking this chance to see him, but every night since she'd gone back undercover he'd haunted her dreams. There was something between them and she had to know what it was. If it was purely sexual then tonight would end her torment. _Yes, but what if it's something more._ Frowning at the inner voice that was not something she was willing to think about right now.

She wondered how late it was? Since it was winter darkness descended that much sooner, leaving the world to hope for the rising of the moon to at least give off some light. Trying to see her watch she finally gave up. She'd count to one hundred and if he wasn't here, she'd leave.

She reached seventy-five when the sound of someone walking through the rubble reached her. Stepping out of the small room she waited, hoping he would think first and just not shoot what appeared to be a German soldier. Frowning she strained to hear the footsteps again and couldn't. Maybe she'd just thought she'd heard something. "Wishful thinking."

"What you've started talking to yourself. You know they say that's a sign you're losing your mind."

Spinning to her left she saw him leaning up against what was left of a support beam. "You scared me. I didn't think you were coming."

Taking two steps he was now close enough to feel the warmth from her body, but resisted the urge to touch her. There were a couple of questions he wanted her to answer. "What wouldn't I show up? I mean that was a very interesting invitation you sent."

"Well I just thought that with the shelling, I mean anything could have happened."

She tried to keep her voice level, but she knew he could probably sense the worry that had been there only moments ago.

"So you were worried about me? I find that very touching." He gave into his temptation to touch and pulled the cap off her head letting her hair fall down her back. Reaching out he snagged a curl and rubbed it between his fingers. "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?"

He felt her shoulder brush his hand in what could be interpreted as a shrug. "It wouldn't have changed anything and well, I really didn't want to explain it all to you. Does it matter?"

The playful tone in her voice had his lips lifting into a smile, "yeah it mattered. I never did get a chance to finish that kiss we started." He saw her lick her lips and then she gave him a sly smile. He felt her hand close around his and begin to tug.

"Follow me, I have a little place you might find interesting." The room she'd found and prepared was in a far back corner surround with rubble but amazingly still in good shape. It'd probably been a maids quarters and the small bed along with the clean sheets and candles made an inviting sight.

She felt him stop behind her and turned to face him. He hadn't shaved in a while and the dark stubble gave him an air of danger. His eyes appeared almost black in the dim light, but she could tell that passion not anger was driving him. Suddenly feeling unsure she bit her lip, "uh is something wrong?"

He couldn't believe it. She'd put herself at risk to set up all this and he found himself humbled and possibly for the first time speechless. While he tried to think of something to say to put her at ease, but watched as her distress grew and she began to mumble to herself, "I knew this was a stupid idea. I've just lost my mind I must have been feeling something you weren't."

Turning away she headed to the small area she'd set up and began to pack things up when his hand covered hers. "You know you are way too fast for me to keep up with. There is nothing wrong; I'm just a little in shock you'd go to all this trouble for me. Why?"

Flipping her hair over her shoulder she stared at him for a moment and then shook her head. "I've got no idea other than this."

Reaching for him, she curled her hand behind his neck and pulled his closer quickly sealing his lips with hers. The brush of her tongue across his lips had him moaning and opening his mouth for her to deepen the kiss.

Without breaking the kiss she reached up and grabbed his helmet dropping it to the ground beside her, letting her hands slide deeper into his hair pulling him closer. Oh yeah the kiss was everything her imagination and overheated dreams remembered and then some. When his arms went around her and pulled her close, he pushed his hips into hers causing him to groan and pull away from her mouth.

Panting she gave him a confused look, "what did I do something wrong? I thought this was what you wanted?"

He dropped his head to her shoulder, "oh it is trust me, you just move a little faster than I'm used to. Besides you sure you want this, I don't remember the last time I had a shower."

She laughed, "yeah I wondered what stunk in here." Giving him a sly smile, "yes I'm sure."

This time it was him that pulled her close and pressed his lips against hers, opening her mouth with this tongue. Exploring her mouth like a man starving on a deserted island, letting her warmth enter him and warm him to his bones.

Whatever it was that attracted her to him should be bottled and sold, she would be a very rich woman. Not content to be kissed her hands slid down his chest, making short work of his coat and started working of the shirt underneath. When her hands found skin, she lightly ran her nails across his flat stomach.

Pulling his mouth away from hers he kissed across her jaw and down her neck, biting softly as the place where her neck and shoulder joined. Releasing her, he moved his hands to the jacket she was wearing and quickly undid it sliding his hands inside to find only skin.

"Ugh, you're killing me; please tell me you're wearing something under those pants."

She gave him a sexy grin and reached to cup him through his pants stroking him hard before answering, "nope, not a thing. I knew we would be pressed for time, so have a seat on that bed." Giving him a slight push she laughed as he fell back, bracing himself up on his elbows.

Lifting an eyebrow he watched as her jacket and pants quickly disappeared leaving her completely naked except for the black boots. Taking a step toward him, she reached for his pants and quickly undid them. "I know this is going to be fast and rushed, promise me that the next time, we're both undressed."

Pulling her down so she straddled his lap he brushed his mouth across one breast causing her to arch against him mouth in pleasure. "Oh yeah, next time I promise. But you've got to keep those boots that has to be the sexiest thing I've ever seen."

Running her hands into his hair, she pulled his mouth back to her breast encouraging him to lick and suck. "Oh I will, just don't stop doing that."

Now that she had his mouth engaged exactly where she wanted it that left her hands free to work on him pants. Quickly she freed him from them and stroked him softly in her hand. His hand quickly clamped down on her wrist stopping her movement.

"If you keep that up this will be over before it began, put your hands on my shoulders."

Placing her hands where he told her, she dropped her head back and sighed as he mouth returned to her breast and one hand slid between her legs. Moving against his hand in total abandonment she let the pleasure rise inside her. It had been so long since she'd felt this way.

"Ron, please?"

Smiling against her chest, "please what baby?"

She knew he was teasing her, grabbing his head with both hands she kissed him like a woman lost seeking salvation. With one hand in his hair to hold him where she wanted him, her other hand slid between their bodies and grasp him, holding him until she could slide down on him.

Breaking the kiss she let out a strangled cry, "that's what I wanted. Oh my God, you feel so good."

Grabbing both of her hips he tried to hold her still. "Amanda, don't move, this isn't going to last long."

"I don't care I'm so close, please Ron." She wiggled her hips side to side drawing a low growl from him.

He quickly reversed their positions with her underneath him, her legs wrapped around his waist pulling him deeper. "This is going to be hard and fast, but I promise the next time will be better."

She grabbed his hair and bit on his neck, licking her way to his ear. "Shut up Ron and fuck me."

The hard strokes that he drove into her body sent her to a new peak of pleasure and with one twist of his hips he had her biting down on her lip to keep from screaming. As she began to calm she opened her eyes and met his. The dark passion inside them had them almost glowing in the dim light.

"Mandy, you are gorgeous. Baby I'm not going to last." With one last thrust he poured his passion into her collapsing on her. The softness of her body and the gently stroking hands nearly lulling him to sleep.

As the sweat cooled on their bodies he raised up bracing himself on his arms. "I hate to leave but…"

"I know me too. Don't worry, this can't last much longer and I'll find you again. Remember you owe me real bed next time."

Dipping his head he kissed her and eased from her body. Pushing up he took a moment to look down on her. Reaching out he ran a finger down her chest. "So I can take that statement to mean that you enjoyed yourself."

Laughing she slapped his hand away and stood beside him to dress. "Oh yeah, and maybe next time we'll let you live out your fantasy." Seeing the frown on concentration on his face she couldn't help but smile. "Oh so you forgot already? You know the one about my hair wrapped around you."

The smile that spread across his face was pure sin, "oh yeah that one. We will most definitely do that." Pulling her to him he kissed her one last time. "Be careful and I hope to see you soon."

Before she could speak he slipped away into the darkness leaving her alone.

****

Leaning her head against the cold window frame she tried to focus on the frozen horizon, anything to focus on besides what was behind her. The German Army and it's wounded were fairing no better than the Americans, ever since Patton had arrived the American's had gained momentum and supplies, while the Germans lost ground and men.

They had run out of any way to treat the wounded two days ago and she knew it was only a matter of time before she saw the Americans enter Foy. Rubbing her hands over her face she couldn't help but be excited, Ron would be with them. Two weeks and she'd had no chance to get anything to him and well, she missed him. Every time the Germans started shelling she worried. What if he'd already been killed? No she wasn't going to think that way, he was fine and it was only a matter of time before she saw him again.

Pulling herself away from the window she went back to writing letters for the wounded. Some would never leave this room, but somehow she knew that just the act of listening to their final words gave them peace. The emotional toll on her was devastating. Parts of her heart she sealed away forever had been opened by Ron. One night and now she was a silly mess. Had she learned nothing from Max and Matt?

What would happen to them when he knew everything? Why did she care? Damn so many thoughts ran through her mind she became more confused by the moment. Luckily the sudden entrance of a Captain who commanded the unit in Foy pulled her mind away from romantic thoughts.

_"You have to go, you have to leave now. The Americans have begun to move back into position around Foy and if you don't leave now, you'll not get out."_

Inside her chest her heart began to pound. They were coming and she'd be able to end the pretense of being on the German side. Now all she had to do was find a reasonable excuse to stay. Thinking quickly, the wounded soldiers hand she was holding gave her the idea she needed.

_"No, I'm not leaving. Do any of you speak English here?"_ She saw one hand go up in the corner but no one else. _"You soldier, how much English to you speak?"_ She had to ensure that no one in the room would understand what she said. She had no idea who would show up for the attack and if it wasn't someone she knew she had to be able to speak freely.

The young boy shrugged his one uninjured shoulder, _"only a small bit. I can order food and drink, hello and good-bye."_

Saying an internal thank you that no one would understand what she was saying she turned back to the Captain she gave him a smug smile. _"Well I went to the university and speak fluent English. I choose to stay and try to protect the wounded. I've heard the Americans will offer aid to the wounded, I'd like to stay and ensure that."_

The Captain looked indecisive and for a moment she thought he would force her but he shook his head. _"I'll tell the General you stayed and defend the sons of the Fatherland. German will owe you a great debt."_

Gritting her teeth she managed to smile and return to her duties without rolling her eyes. If only the Captain knew her real reasons for staying behind.

****

When the door was kicked open Amanda made sure to be standing where she could be seen and with her hands up. She couldn't stop smiling when she saw Lipton enter followed by two others.

"Sergeant you have no idea how happy I'm to see you. Look all these soldiers are wounded and really could use medical treatment, we ran out of supplies three days ago."

Lipton nodded his head and told the soldier with him to go find the medics and let Lieutenant Speirs know what they'd found.

She couldn't help how her heart sped up at the mention of his name. He was here? "Uh, Sergeant, did you say Lieutenant Speirs was here?"

"That's right; he's now the commander of Easy." Lipton gave her a knowing smile, "I'm sure he'll be happy to see you too."

"Well I wouldn't want to disturb him. Maybe you could take me to Nixon and I could help out that. Besides you probably want to make it look like you're taking me away." She nodded her head in the direction of the wounded who were watching the exchange.

Lipton nodded his head in understanding and pointed his weapon at her waving her toward the door. "Nice touch." He whispered as she passed him.

Once outside the door and away from where anyone could see she dropped her arms. "Well if you'll point me in the right…"

"Lipton heard you found some prisoners."

Turning she saw the shocked look at his face. "Now before you say anything remember you're not supposed to know me and there are several German POWs that might get back to report what they've seen."

She might have been amused at the look on his face as the same intense cold look she'd seen on him the first time reappeared like a mask slipping into place. Leaning in he spoke so that only she heard, "when I get you alone…you will pay for this. Right now all I want to do is pick you up and kiss you till you can't breathe. I've missed you."

If she thought her heart had been racing it was nothing compared to how it was beating now. Swallowing she nodded her head afraid to speak because she knew that her voice would give away her feelings.

Nodding his head to Lipton he walked away and left the two of them alone in the field. Lipton chuckled beside her, "I wish you could see your face right now. He really gets to you doesn't he?"

Laughing she started up the hill away from Lipton. He had no idea how much Speirs really got under her skin.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters in this story. I have great respect for the real men of Band of Brothers.

Spoken German is written in Italics so nothing is lost in translation. :)

Chapter 9

"Hmm, nice place Nixon, nice and homey, now if only you could do something about those pesky neighbors who seem intent on killing you."

Nixon looked up from the map he was trying to study to see Mandy leaned against the doorframe looking very smug. "Well, what brings you down to the slums? Looking for someone in particular?" He tried not to laugh as she gave a negligent shrug as her eyes searched the room.

"Uh not really just taking a look around, can't sit in one place for too long."

"Uh huh, well since you're just looking around you might want to take a look at the house at the end of the street, I'm sure you'll find something to interest you there."

Snorting she tried to deny everything, "you know I really don't know what you trying to suggest, I'm merely looking around."

"Yeah, so when was the last time you saw him?"

"Rechamps but what does…" she slapped her hand over her mouth and glared at Nixon. "That was mean and you know it."

"Babe, why deny it. Everyone in the battalion knows you two have the hots for each other, what's the issue?"

Sitting down in the chair next to his desk she frowned and shook her head, "well first I'm sure it's not everyone who knows, second…I'm not sure what we have."

"Well that sounds serious, look he's been really busy and I'm sure that's the only reason he hasn't been looking for you. But yeah, everyone knows and everyone likes it. You two are…interesting together. So have you told him everything?"

Her nose wrinkled in disgust, "no and not ready to have that talk just yet. You know he's not going to like it and I don't want to see his face. I'm just not ready for that."

"Hey, he could fool you. The man is definitely hard to figure out, he might not be as upset as you think, however the longer you delay the worse it's going to be. Ah yeah, speaking of worse, this came for you today." When he handed the paper over to her he already knew what it said and he also knew she was going to be upset.

"Oh my God, can't I catch a break? When is he getting here, oh tomorrow? I can only imagine what it is he wants now." Rubbing her face, she got to her feet and headed for the door. "Thanks for listening Nix, I'll see you later."

Nixon picked the paper up she'd dropped and went over to the trash can to burn it. Nope she wasn't going to get much of a break, Colonel Decker would be arriving tomorrow and he'd made it very clear he wanted to talk to her.

****

Ron looked around his room one last time. Everything was set exactly how he wanted it. Avoiding Mandy in a town, this small had been problematic, but it would be worth it tonight. Once he had the patrol ready to go then he could go find her. Smiling he lifted the sheets and pulled them back, this would be one night they wouldn't forget. He'd missed her and not having the time to spend with her over the last weeks had nearly driven him insane.

Rubbing his jaw, he thought about shaving but then decided against it. The stubble wasn't that bad and he knew from the last time they were together she seemed to enjoy it. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he refocused his attention on getting through the next few hours, and then he could give her his undivided attention.

****

She'd had every intention of heading to the building Nixon had told her Ron was staying in, but the message from Matt had ruined any good mood she'd had. There were only two reasons he'd be coming here, one was her returning to the German side, something she really didn't want. The second reason was more personal; he still held illusions of starting their relationship again.

She really wanted to stay on the American side, she was tired of pretending and she was tired of being alone. The situation with Ron had changed her thoughts on the spying game. She had been honest when she told Nixon she didn't know what was going on between them, but she did know she wanted a chance to find out. The only thing bothering her was Ron's reaction.

Sure he knew she been working undercover and that was how she'd been shot but he had no idea she been prostituting herself for the last two years. Definitely not the way to begin an honest relationship, but then again maybe she was wrong about him and he would understand. Once she explained that she did it all to avenge her sister it would all work out. Snorting she fell back on the bed, yeah and pigs might sprout wings and fly.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep but the pounding at her door brought her straight up off the bed, making herself disoriented about where she was. Grasping her chest, she tried to calm her racing heart calling out that she was coming. When her hand touched the door knob she had a moments concern that Matt might be on the other side and that was something she would rather avoid, but that thought passed through quickly, especially when the muffled voice that came through the wood had her practically jerking the door open.

"Okay sweetheart, open the door."

There he was, the man who had been starring in some great fantasies looking smug and very sexy. "So is there some reason you were trying to knock down my door or is this the way you normally are?"

The grin that spread across his handsome face had her backing up. She watched as he entered the door and pushed the door closed behind him. The room was dimly lit yet there was enough light that she could see his eyes, a flood of pure lust that coursed through her made her want to throw herself into his arms.

Ron smirked as he watched her face; he found it hard to believe she was a spy when every thought and emotion showed clearly on her face. "Well you see sweetheart, I'm done with my duties and as I've not see you in some time, much less had you alone, I wanted to invite you to come with me." He held out his hand and waited. Not giving in to his desire to pull her into his arms and kiss her until neither one could breathe. The feeling was making him crazy, but he could wait.

"Well I've missed you too. We could always stay here couldn't we?" There was no mistaking the look in her eyes; he had to get her and them out of this bedroom before he ruined everything.

"Nope we need to go; I've got something to show you."

She felt the surge of disappointment when he merely took her hand, pulling her behind him, had something changed, and he no longer was interested? Damn, but a good-bye kiss might have been nice. She was too busy pouting at his lack of physical attention that she didn't notice he'd pulled them into a building and was heading down a hallway. "Uh, where are we going?"

His chuckle carried back to her, "wait and see, I promise you're not going to be disappointed." When he reached the closed door, he swung her in front of him and backed her against the closed door. When he spoke, his voice was so low and hoarse he almost didn't recognize it. The need to have her and keep her with him was driving every movement he made. "I don't think I said hello to you properly."

When he leaned in, she fully expected the soul stealing kisses they'd previously shared, only to be fooled with the gentle touch of his lips to hers. Closing her eyes, she molded her body against his and sighed into the kiss as his arms pulled her close. The vague sound of a door opening entered her brain, then he began to slowly walking her backwards and the sound of the door closing followed them.

Growing frustrated by his lack of aggressiveness she ran her hands into his hair, pulling him closer, and nipped at his lower lip. His chuckle vibrated through her chest but he refused to increase the pressure of their kiss. Instead his lips began a slow, soft trip across her jaw to her ear and then down her neck.

When he lifted his head he waited patiently until her eyes opened and met his, the slightly glazed look to her eyes made him smile. "You know, we have all night there is no reason to rush, besides I went out of my way to get all this." Turning her to face the bed, he waited for her reaction.

He had to admit, he'd outdone himself. He'd set up candles all over the room, found fresh laundered sheets and a nice bottle of wine. Reaching up and undoing her hair to let it fall down her back, he took a moment to consider why he'd done all this. Did he really think they had a future? How did she even feel about him or for that matter other than driving lust what did he feel about her?

His thoughts were interrupted when she turned back to face him a smile on her face, "thank you, it's…wonderful. No one has ever done anything this special for me, even…never mind." His mind wrapped around her stutter at the end but he wasn't going to ruin the moment by pushing her for answers.

Taking her hand, he pulled her over to a chair and slowly began to remove her jacket. "Well I thought we could sit have a glass of wine, talk and then see what comes from that." The fear he saw in her eyes had him wondering what he had done wrong then as quickly as it had been there it was gone, replaced with desire.

"Alright, why not, why don't you pour and I'll get a little more comfortable."

He tried not to spill the wine as he watched her drop her jacket and shirt leaving only her t-shirt and pants. Her boots quickly disappeared as she sat curling her feet under her in the chair to watch him. He had no idea why he was so nervous, but right now, he felt like a virgin watching her. Watching her take a drink from the wine glass and lick her lips almost had him forgetting his night of romance and taking her right there in the floor.

She lifted the glass to drink again and covered the small smile. She'd seen his eyes focus on her tongue as it ran along her lips, good she wasn't the only one losing patience. She knew that her eyes had to be glowing with lust as she watched him strip to his t-shirt and remove his boots as well. His smirk as he moved to the other chair said it all; he'd done it to get even with her.

"So Nixon tells me you were born in Germany, where at?" The question had caught her so off guard she'd nearly choked on her wine. This entire conversation might not be a good thing.

"Uh, I was born in Heidelberg and lived there until I left. What else did Nixon tell you?"

Ron shrugged and took a drink. He'd put her on the defensive with this conversation and that hadn't been his intent, he just wanted to know more about her. "Nothing other than you were born in Germany, came to the states and went to work for the government. I just thought it was interesting; I was born in Scotland myself. Look, maybe this was the wrong way to do this, but I just wanted to get to know you. I see this is making you uncomfortable so we can change the subject if you like."

Sighing she nodded her head, "yes I guess I'm not comfortable talking about myself or my past, maybe we could just skip it tonight, okay?"

Finishing his wine he sat down the glass and walked to the fireplace, "sure no problem." Inside it was a huge problem for him. She was hiding something and if it was something that could jeopardize a future together, he wanted to know what it was. He jumped as he felt her hands slide from his shoulders down his back.

"Ron I'm sorry, it's just I've guarded my past so carefully for so long, I'm not good with sharing it." Her hands tugging his t-shirt free of his pants and sliding underneath had him forgetting the conversation and concentrating on the feel of her hands stroking his chest.

Laying his hands over hers he stilled her hands and turned in her arms till he was facing her. He was shocked to find she was already naked. He couldn't help the smirk that formed, "well and here I thought I would get the pleasure of undressing you, guess you're as impatient as me."

This time when he pulled her against him, the kiss wasn't tentative and sweet, but fierce and demanding, his tongue sweeping inside her mouth, drawing in her taste. The feel of her body, soft and warm against his drove all thoughts from his mind except possessing her and making her his.

"Bed, now." The words were forced and came out as almost a growl and he pushed her back across the room. This was the first time he'd truly been able to see her naked and he wanted to take full advantage of it. Pushing her back onto the bed, he stood over her and looked his fill.

Her lips were red and swollen from the kisses they'd shared and the stubble burn around her mouth showed the evidence of his passion. He loved the way her hair flowed around her and across the sheets. Reaching out he brushed a tendril from her chest causing his fingers to graze her nipple as they passed. The moan and arching of her back had him harder than he'd ever thought possible.

Using his fingertip he traced down her chest onto her stomach, deviating to brush the scar that marred her side. Giving into temptation, he bent and kissed the scar, allowing his tongue to lick softly across it. He realized his mistake at getting this close too soon, the smell of her was going to make him crazy. Standing quickly he continued letting his fingers drift slowing down her stomach and to the top of one thigh.

By the time, his fingers had stopped their slow trail down her body she was burning up. Her heart was racing and she felt like she had run a mile. Just watching him look at her was enough to get her off. His eyes shown with some crazy internal light that made her feel hot all over. When his fingers continued to slide down one leg towards her knee, she couldn't stop the moan that escaped her lips.

His chuckle gave further raise to her frustration level. She didn't think he had any idea what he was doing, but if he did, man he was good. She knew that one touch of his hand would be all it took to set off the orgasm building inside her. As his fingers started back up on the inside of one leg, she let her legs slide apart in the hopes he would touch her.

Ron saw her legs fall apart as he neared the juncture of her thighs and he could see the dampness that had accumulated there. He'd had enough playing. Dropping to his knees, he pushed her legs apart and buried his mouth between her legs, stroking her with his tongue.

At the first brush of his tongue she had to grab the sheets to keep from coming off the bed, she was so close. The soft cries of pleasure and encouragement coming from her began to sound more desperate the closer she got to the peak of climax. "Ron, please, please I can't stand it anymore." When the warmth of his mouth left her, she did finally scream, but only in frustration.

Pushing up to her elbows she glared at him, "what the hell are you doing?" Her only answer was his t-shirt dropping to the floor and his pants quickly followed. When his weight settled over her she was surprised when he didn't immediately enter her, but slowly rubbed himself against her.

Dropping his head against her neck, he kissed her softly. "You know, what I want the most is to see you above me, you hair flowing down on my chest."

Before she could react, he'd rolled to his back taking her with him so she was straddling his hips. Smiling down on him she dropped her head and let her long hair brush across his chest, loving the shiver that coursed through is body. Rising to her knees, she slowly slid him inside her dropping her head back at the pleasure it brought.

She felt his hands dig into her hips and force her back to her knees and then back down on him. Laying her hands on his chest, she began to move in a rhythm that would soon bring them both extreme pleasures.

She felt the muscles through his body tighten and knew that he was at the brink with her, changing the tempo she tried to hold them at the edge for as long as she could, but when he grabbed her hair and tugged, she lost her fight and fell into the pleasure. His hoarse groan quickly followed and she was pleased to feel his heartbeat was as erratic as hers.

Sliding to his side she hated the empty feeling left behind when he was apart from her body, but loved the fact his arms immediately pulled her close. She couldn't remember a time that she was this relaxed and could just be herself. She felt him kiss her forehead and then she let sleep take her.

Ron felt her go lax against him and smiled. He would have loved to follow her into sleep but the machine gun firing reminded him of where his first duty lay and it was to the men currently paddling back across the cold river. Slipping out from under her, he covered her with a light blanket and dressed quickly. The sooner it was over the sooner he could return to her arms.

****

It was heading toward dawn before Ron returned to his room. Losing Jackson for the sake of two prisoners wasn't worth it in his book, but one look at Winters and he knew the other man was suffering probably more than he was. When he closed the door, he actually relaxed against it. He hadn't realized how disappointed he'd have been to return and find her gone.

Instead, he was treated to the view of her smooth back, only her hips still covered with the blanket. Smiling he headed to the bed and ran his fingertip down her spine loving the way she unconsciously arched into his hand. Quickly shedding his clothes, he slid in behind her pulling her into his arms. He couldn't believe how much he wanted her again, pressing himself into her butt and cupping a breast he did his best to wake her.

"Mandy, honey, wake up, I need you."

Without speaking, he felt her leg lift and slide back allowing him to enter her from behind. He'd always tried to be a considerate lover, but this time, this time he needed her to take away the pain of death. He promised himself he would make it up to her.

Mandy felt his arms tighten around her and his breathing accelerate, she knew that he was close and when he growled her name and poured himself into her, she smiled and kissed his hand. When his breathing returned to normal she heard him whisper in her ear, "I'm sorry, that's the third time I've not used anything. But I want you to know I won't be sorry if you ever become pregnant."

She let her breathing deepen without ever responding hopping he would think she'd fallen back to sleep. That was a conversation she wasn't ready to have. How did you tell someone who could see spending the rest of your life with that you couldn't have children.

****

The pounding at the door had her reaching for the pillow to pull it over her head. Ron could get up and get the door. When the pounding stopped, she moved the pillow off her head and listened. Quiet had returned. Sighing she reached behind her expecting to feel him with her only to find an empty and cold bed.

Groaning she closed her eyes and was just drifting back to sleep when the pounding came again coupled with a yelling voice, "damn it Mandy, I know you're in there, get up and open this door."

Her fatigue quickly faded at the sound of Matt's voice. Ripping the sheet from the bed, she went quickly to the door and opened it, jumping back and he came barging in. "Well good morning to you too."

Matt gave the entire room a once over to ensure they were alone. The soldier he'd threatened told him she was in Captain Speirs' room and from the looks of things it was exactly how he'd thought. She was sleeping with him. Turning to face her, he was taken aback by her disheveled look. Obviously, she'd still be asleep when he woke her. "Well my dear if it was morning I would say the same, but seeing as it's roughly three in the afternoon…so guess he wore you out. You always were an exhausting lover."

Mandy slammed the door and leaned against it, "alright, so I see someone's jealousy is showing. Now that you're here, what do you want?" She watched as Matt paced the room and was actually shocked at the change in him. His hair had more gray than she'd remembered and the lines on his face were deeper. Feeling some tug at her heart she stepped away from the door and grabbed his arm; bring him around to face her. "Matt tell me what's wrong first."

His mouth opened and closed several times, the desire to hurt her almost getting away from him, but when he saw the soft look in her eyes he tamped it back down and decided to tell her the truth. "My wife died last month."

"Oh Matt I'm so sorry." She pulled him into her arms and held him. While she didn't love him, she could still feel sorry for him, knowing how much this had to have hurt. After a moment, he pulled himself away from her and she let him go. The time to mourn had passed, now they were back to business.

"I'm sure you want to know why I'm here so I'll get to the point. You have to go back. Since you've been captured we can't get anyone close to Hoffer, rumor has it his wife, and children were killed in an air raid on Berlin. We've decided that having you go back while he's his most vulnerable would give us an edge. So with that in mind pack your stuff you're leaving now."

"No. I won't go. I did everything you asked of me and now I don't want to do it anymore." Pulling the sheet tighter around her she tried to formulate arguments against going but only one kept coming to mind. She didn't want to leave Ron, she wanted a future and he might be hers.

"What do you mean no? You don't get a choice. Is this all because of that Captain?" His cold laugh sent chills down her spine. "Hell Mandy, you don't learn do you. He's using you just like the German. What do you think he loves you that he'll give you a home, be a husband? Huh uh no way, not him, I know about him, you're just something to do."

Turning her back, she began to gather her clothes and dress. "You know Matt, I know you would say anything to hurt me like you think I hurt you, but you don't know him." Once she was dressed, she stood staring around the room, the fear that everything Matt had said might be true squeezed everything else from her brain.

Matt saw her waiver and moved in, "sweetheart, I know you lose your heart easily, you've always been a caring person, but how do you think he'd react if knew everything? Hmm, have you ever considered it, or even if he got past that, do you think a man like him would be satisfied never having children." He watched as the tears slid from her eyes. He hated to hurt her, but this was the only way.

"Come on now, get it together, you've got fifteen minutes and then you'll be leaving."

She nodded and moved to the door. Instead of packing, she knew she'd use the time to write Ron a letter. Try to explain, that was the least she could do.

When she returned to the jeep, she was carrying a small bag and the letter. She'd poured out her heart and the truth, now she'd have to wait to find out if it was worth it or not. Climbing into the jeep, she handed the letter to Matt. "Could you please give this to Ron…Captain Speirs."

Taking the letter he gave her a smile, "sure I'll hand deliver it myself." Patting her hand, he watched the jeep drive out of town. When he was sure she could no longer see him, he took out a lighter and burned the letter in the street. When all of this was done, he'd be the one there for her, not Speirs.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters in this story. I have great respect for the real men of Band of Brothers.

Spoken German is written in Italics so nothing is lost in translation. :)

I know I've been so hard on you  
I know I've told you lies  
If I could have just one more wish  
I'd wipe the cobwebs from my eyes-_"Close My Eyes Forever", Lita Ford_

Chapter 10

He honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd been this content. The thought of her still asleep in his bed had him smiling, something that had caused more than one soldier to jump out of his way. He could feel his heart pounding as he headed down the hallway; he really hoped she was still asleep; the thought of waking her up slowly had his pants feeling a little tight. Besides, he owed her for the sweet way she'd let him take her this morning. Yep, she was definitely smiling now.

The smile slid from his face almost as quickly as it had came, his room was completely empty and the sheet lying in the middle of the floor gave him pause. He'd really expected her to still be here. Shrugging he gave himself time to clean up and straighten the room before he headed over to hers.

His mood though turned for the worse when he found the door to her room partial opened and nothing inside. She'd disappeared without a trace in the span of a few short hours. Trying to reign in his temper he head to the battalion to talk to the one person who had the best chance of telling him where she was; Nixon.

When the door to his office was thrown open slamming it against the wall he swallowed the sigh he was ready to release. He'd known it would only be a matter of time before Ron found out she was gone, and damn here he'd been hoping it would be a little later at least. Holding his hand up he tried to stop the tirade before it began, "look, before you start, yes I knew she was leaving, she told me she would talk to you and no I don't know where she is. Does that answer all your questions?"

Ron felt all the anger he'd developed on the walk over flow from his body leaving him empty. He knew that if Nixon had no idea where she was the chances of him finding out were almost zero. "Well can you at least tell me what she failed to?"

Waving his hand at the chair beside his desk, Nixon moved to close the door. "Look yesterday she got a telegram from Colonel Decker; he's the guy who has been handling her. Anyway, she wasn't very happy, but I think she had a pretty good idea that he was going to want her to go back. Ron if it helps, she really didn't want to, she wanted to stay here with us, with you."

Rubbing his hand across his face, the feelings of frustration were overwhelming. He felt like he was reading a book with several pages missing. "Look, do you know what she is doing?" Holding his hand up he tried to stop the speech of classified that was about to come from Nixon. "Can you tell me anything that won't cause a problem?"

Nixon studied Ron for a moment, the lines of stress on his face had deepened and if Nixon could put a name to the look on his face, it would have been the word miserable. "Alright I'll tell you what I know. I know that she's been working with the this Decker guy since 1941 and apparently for some reason took this assignment in 1943. She's working for some German General."

"Yeah I'd heard the rumors she was his mistress, is it true?"

Nixon shook his head, there was no way he was going to answer that. He knew that she had been, but something was off with Ron and well, he and Mandy needed to discuss that little detail. "I don't know would it make a difference if she was?" Curiosity got the better of him and he had to know, that might explain Ron's reactions to her being gone.

Ron shook his head, "no probably not. However, until I know for sure either way, I'm not going to let it bother me. I think what we have or could have deserves a chance and I find it hard to believe she would willingly walk away on that."

"I don't think she did. Look, I don't know everything but there was something else, something that Decker knew about and I think he might be using it to get her to do as he wishes. That's all I know."

Ron didn't look any happier but he didn't look nearly as dangerous as he had when he walked in. "Yeah well if you hear anything would you at least let me know she's okay?"

"Sure, will do. Hey don't worry the war can't last all that much longer and then you two can work this out." Nixon watched Ron nod and leave quietly. Despite his positive words, Nixon wasn't sure about anything he'd just said. Something was going on with Decker, he didn't know what, but he had the gut feeling that the man knew something and was keeping it to himself. Moreover, with the end of the war coming, there couldn't be a worse time for Mandy to be behind the lines again.

****

_Berlin-March 1945_

She watched the rain drops chase each other down the glass and did her best not to think. Thinking caused problems, problems led to mistakes and right now, a mistake would lead to her death. Chasing one of the drops with her finger, she longed deep inside to be free, for one more night with him. Clenching her hands by her side she turned away from the window, nope dangerous thoughts, remember he was a problem that would lead to a mistake.

The trip across Germany had been one long living nightmare, transferred between underground supporters numerous trucks it had taken a month to arrive in Berlin, only to find the once beautiful lady nearly on her knees with the endless bombing raids by the Americans and British. Then there was Kurt. Sighing she glanced at him slumped over his desk in the adjacent room. He seemed to have aged a lifetime with the death of his children. Her heart had broken when he recounted their deaths to her.

His stupid wife had insisted on staying in Berlin, believing that Hitler would save them all. Her foolish blind faith had not only cost her life but her children as well. The man once known as being powerful and unshakable was suddenly old and broken. He'd been elated when she dragged herself back into Berlin and he hadn't let her leave his side. Good for the spying, bad for her state of mind. It was hard to try to hold everything together when all she cared about was being free.

_"Darling can you come in here for a moment?"_

Thankful for a distraction she quickly moved to the other room. Kurt's animated expression giving her hope that his mood might have shifted. _"Is there anything wrong my love?"_ Just saying those, words nearly had her gagging. While she might have grown fond of the man over the years, it was still a long way from love.

_"Yes, I want you to pack your bag, I'm sending you to Berchtesgaden, it's no longer safe here and I won't lose you too."_

Gritting her teeth, she had to think fast. Leaving Berlin would mean she was useless; she had to find a way to either stay or get him to leave with her. _"Kurt, I won't go without you, besides, I have nine lives. Look how many times I've returned to you when you thought I was lost. You need me here Kurt and if you won't let me stay go with me."_ Watching his face, she thought she might have overplayed her role, lately Kurt had been much more volatile and she'd had to be careful when speaking.

Kurt moved so fast for a moment she had doubts as to what he was about to do but then he pulled her into his arms, his large hand stroking up and down her back as he held her to him. Forcing herself to relax into his embrace she waited, she had a chance that he would go with her or there was the chance they would both stay here and die.

Every day the reports coming in had the Red Army drawing closer and soon Berlin would be surrounded. She knew if she didn't make her escape soon there was a good chance she never would leave.

_"Alright my love, I'll come with you. The high command has been after me to take over the defense of the Ober Saltzburg so yes; we'll leave as soon as it can be arranged."_

Lifting to her toes, she kissed him tenderly on the lips. _"Thank you for understanding. At times like these I feel better knowing I'm with you and that we are both safe."_

Kurt dropped another kiss on her head and returned to his desk, _"yes, I suppose you're right. With things as they are it would be better for me to go and prepare for Hitler to move south. Yes, I believe that will be best. Now go and see what is keeping dinner."_

Nodding her head, she left the room and closed the door behind her. Leaning against it, she allowed herself to relax for a moment. The first goal accomplished with little effort getting out of Berlin. Now the second goal; surviving the war might just take a little more effort.

****

_Berchtesgaden-April 1945_

Here in this secluded part of Bavaria, one could forget there was a war going on, well with the exception of all the SS in the town. They had been here since late March and Kurt's mood had improved, he was almost back to his old self. Unfortunately, he'd begun to give hints that he wanted more than what life currently had to offer. The latest news from the underground had told her that the Americans were drawing closer by the day and that Berlin was in serious jeopardy from the Russians.

Turning her task back to overseeing the dining room she thought about the party being hosted here tonight. I was a celebration of Hitler's birthday, or at least that was the excuse given, but all the senior ranking officers attending tonight knew this was more of a farewell party. The Third Reich couldn't last and she was going to be caught in the middle of it when it fell.

While Kurt's mood had improved and he was sharing more with her, he'd become very secretive the last couple of days and for the first time she'd been unable to get a sense of what was happening. She sincerely hoped it wasn't anything like she thought it was.

_"Ah, there you are, I should have known. When there are details that need perfection you my darling are always there."_

Smiling at Kurt's praise, she was shocked when he lifted her and kissed her passionately in the middle of the dining room. Pushing back, she slapped his arm, _"Kurt please, you'll embarrass me."_

He chuckled and pulled her closer, _"after tonight my darling, you'll have no need to be embarrassed by my public displays."_ Patting her on the back, he left her standing alone in the room with a feeling of dread overtaking her.

As the party progressed, Amanda flitted around the room entertaining people and ensuring the food and drink flowed. She also did her best to stay away from Kurt. The meeting with him earlier that afternoon had her wondering how she was going to handle what was coming coupled with that she was worried that Berlin would fall. Then what would be Kurt's reaction? He was a diehard fanatic when it came to Hitler; if something happened to him, there was no knowing what his reaction would be. The tapping of something on a wine glass drew everyone's attention to the front of the room where Kurt was currently standing.

_"Ladies and Gentlemen, I thank you all for coming and propose a toast to the Fuehrer, Heil Hitler."_

Watching everyone around her toast and drink was like some surreal dream, her sister's voice echoing through her head, _'this is why I left, and this is why I died.'_ Momentarily closing her eyes she tried to block Marga's voice, the voice that up till now had been silent.

_"Everyone, now I have an announcement to make. As I'm sure many of you here know, my lovely friend Marga put all this together and to remember the Fuehrer's birthday, I'd like to ask this lovely lady to marry me." _

The resounding cheers in the small room were deafening and the pounding of her heart blotted out everything else. She knew her face had to register the shock she was feeling, good that would make all this believable. She felt herself pushed forward by the crowd and suddenly she was standing next to Kurt, being wrapped in his arms and kissed.

The low hum of planes had everyone scattering and rushing to the bunkers. As she was pulled along, all she could think of was how the Air Corps was on her future Christmas list.

****

_On the road to the Eagle's Nest_

Ron rechecked his weapon again, the only sign that he was the least bit tense or worried. He didn't like the fact they were moving slowly along this narrow winding road but this had turned out to the be the only way to get to the Eagle's Nest. The rest of second battalion was staying behind to set up security it Berchtesgaden and await the arrival of regiment.

When he'd left Nixon had been reading the hotels sign-in book and mumbling to himself, apparently some high ranking Nazis had been there as recently as two days ago. None of them knew what would await them at the top of this road; he could only hope he wouldn't lose any more men.

****

_Eagle's Nest_

_ "Kurt please stop you have to listen to me. I know if you surrender to the American's it will be okay, you don't have to do this, don't be stupid like Hitler." _Amanda watched Kurt pace the room the Luger in his hand waving between the two of them. From their vantage point, they'd seen the Americans enter the town and now Kurt knew the war for him was over.

When he stopped pacing and faced her, she had hopes that she'd gotten through to him finally, but as he raised the pistol she knew it was over for her as well.

_"My darling Marga, how I wish there'd been time to marry, I'd have loved to have called you my wife. Now I know like any faithful German woman you wouldn't want to live and surrender yourself to the invaders. As for me, I'll follow you my dear and know that I love you very much."_

The sound of the shot echoed in the room as the pain in her chest drove everything else from her mind. D-Day was happening all over again except this time she was sure that she would die. As she dropped to her knees, she could have sworn she heard the elevator return to the bottom of the shaft, but the sound of the Luger firing again covered everything.

Closing her eyes, she lay on the cool stone floor feeling the blood warm and thick slip between her fingers. She wished that she'd not listened to Matt, she had so many regrets and now they were all slipping away.

****

Kicking the heavy wooden door open, Ron and three others quickly entered the large open room and scanned for any possible threat. Not immediately seeing any, they spread out and began to look around. It only took seconds for him to see the feet with their high heels peeking from behind the couch.

Saying a silent prayer, he rushed around the couch and stopped dropping to his knees. The last person he expected to see was Amanda. Her face pale, her eyes closed and the entire front of her dress covered in blood. Pulling her into his arms he began he searched frantically for a pulse, finding it shallow but there.

"Amanda, open your eyes for me." His voice so choked with emotion he was barely able to force the words past his lips. The hoarse gasp that eased from her throat had him shaking; the blood had coated her lips and was beginning to drain from the side of her mouth. He might not be a medic, but he knew that was never a good sign.

"Ron, I'm sorry…wanted to explain…"

"Shh, you can explain later, save your energy." The sight of her pain-filled eyes caused him to shake. She was going to die in his arms and he could do nothing. When she shook her head, he decided to let her finish.

"Always seem to find me at my best." Her words gasped in between her shallow breaths. "I wanted to tell you…I love you."

He was shocked when her cold hand brushed against his face and dropped back to her side. He watched as her eyes began to slip closed and he knew this was probably the end.

The last words she heard was Ron scream for a medic.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters in this story. I have great respect for the real men of Band of Brothers.

Spoken German is written in Italics so nothing is lost in translation. :)

Thanks so much to everyone who has read and reviewed or just been reading. I especially want to thank ber1719, without her….I'd have given up.

Epilogue

_Zell Am See, Austria_

"You know Colonel, I'm not so sure you telling him is the best idea I've heard lately. He can be…well let's just say he doesn't react well to bad news." Nixon crossed his arms and leaned against the door blocking Colonel Decker's escape. The man had shown up less than an hour ago and told him that Amanda had died without ever regaining consciousness and now he wanted to be the one to tell Speirs. Not even Nixon was going to volunteer for that duty.

"Look Nixon, I'm sorry I had to be the one to bring the bad news, but hell I felt it was the least I could do considering it was me that sent her there in the first place."

"See all the more reason it shouldn't be you. Look, there have been a couple of things happen lately, the latest was one of his soldiers being shot in the head, why don't you let Dick and I handle this."

Matt rubbed a hand through his hair but nodded in agreement. Maybe Nixon was right; it was better that someone who could read the situation pass on the news. "Okay then I'll wait here and when you're done I'll head back, again, I'm sorry to be the one to bring bad news."

Nixon waved him off and went to find Dick; this was the type of news that required two people. Lew knew that Ron was not going to take this well, they'd had to practically pry her from his arms when she was wounded, now…he really didn't want to think about it.

Finding Dick on the patio Nixon dropped into the chair across from him, "we've got a problem."

Dick patiently laid down his pen and gave Lew an expectant look. "Yes and that would be? I mean aside from supply problems and well getting men sent elsewhere."

"Well Colonel Decker has paid another visit and once again is the bearer of wonderful news. Amanda died yesterday and this fool wanted to be the one to tell Speirs. Something about he felt that was the least he could do for Amanda."

Dick frowned and steeple his hands in front of him, "well that is unfortunate I'm really sorry Lew I know the two of you liked each other."

"Yeah well I'll deal with that later, but how do we tell Speirs? I mean he isn't exactly known to take things well and he's been asking me every day if I've heard anything and well now…after Grant…need some help here Dick."

Dick nodded his head, "I'll send for him and we'll do it here. I think it would be better just to tell him Lew. Kind of like ripping off the band aid, do it quick and then deal with the pain."

"Alright then, I'll be waiting."

It hadn't taken long to track down Speirs and get him to the headquarters, the look on his face gave him away when he saw both Dick and Lew standing there looking at him. He even guessed why they were there, "she's dead isn't she?"

The two men exchanged looks and then Dick turned back to him, "yes. We only found out Ron, I'm sorry."

He nodded his head and swallowed hard. Part of him wasn't surprised, she'd been shot in the chest and didn't look good when they pulled her away from him. She was something he'd wanted more than air and as with most things in his life it'd been ripped away from him.

"Thanks for telling me. If there is nothing else I need to get back to the men." Turning on his heel, he left the room not waiting for permission.

Lew snorted and lit the cigarette he'd been holding, "well that went well. Wonder who he is going to shoot?"

Dick shook his head, "no I think it's going to be okay, he didn't seem surprised Lew. Remember Doc told us how bad she'd been shot, I think he'd been more surprised had she lived."

The next day Ron told Dick he'd made his decision. He'd be staying in the Army and staying with the men, there was nothing left for him on the outside anyway.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_Aldbourne, England-November 1945_

She wasn't awake but she wasn't asleep either. Voices floated around her like a bad radio frequency that she couldn't seem to tune in. She was aware that someone was holding her hand and that she was in a hospital, the smell of disinfectant burning her nostrils and throat.

Swallowing hard she forced her eyes open and tried to focus on the person holding her hand. The fuzziness around the edges of her vision kept everything from being clear but she could at least make out the shape of a man.

Trying to speak it only came out a croak, "Ron?" The hand holding her tightened and then slid away from hers. Instantly she knew she'd made a mistake.

"No, it's not Ron. Damn it Mandy, you've had me scared for the last five months and the first thing you do when you wake up is ask for him?"

Holding up her hand, she tried to wave him off. "No, just thought, what do you mean five months? Where am I?"

Matt took a deep breath and reigned in his temper. Bottom line is he had all the time in the world to bring her to his way of thinking. Losing his temper would only push her away. "I'm sorry sweetheart let me explain. When they found you, you were in bad shape and it was touch and go for almost a month, before we could move you back to England. The doctors have kept you mostly sedated, not too heavily, but they said the longer you slept, the better you would heal."

She nodded her head and finally was able to focus better. Matt looked tired, but not as stressed as he had been during the war. She knew asking about Ron would start an argument but she wanted to know what happened to him. The last she remembered was his face at the Eagle's Nest.

"What…what happened to Ron?" Her voice felt stronger but even she didn't recognize the hoarse sound. It was almost as if her vocal chords had rusted from disuse.

Matt stood and moved to the window. He knew if she could see his face, she'd know that he was lying. Everything from here on depended on him convincing her that he was all she had left.

"Well sweetheart, like I tried to tell you in France, he was using you. Hell, once he passed you off to the medics he went back to his men and never looked back. I mean he could have stopped to see you before they went to Austria and didn't." He could hear the sounds she was making and he knew he couldn't turn to face her yet. He was breaking her heart, but he would mend her heart, if she only gave him the chance.

"I might as well tell you something else while I'm passing on bad news, or things that will hurt you. Turns out you were pregnant, apparently around three months, but the blood loss was too much." Finally turning he steeled his reaction to face her. Nothing could have prepared him for the utter devastation he saw on her face. Moving swiftly he sat next to her on the bed and put her hand in both of his.

"Don't cry baby, in a way its good news, it means there is the potential for you to have children, if you wanted. I'd like to help you get through this Mandy, just tell me what you need and it's yours."

"I need you to leave."

The flat emotionless voice scared him. He wanted her weak, but he might have gone too far. Her eyes that had once shown every feeling were completely empty. Leaning in he kissed her cheek, "okay I'll leave you alone for now. I know all this is a huge shock and when you ready we'll talk. I'll stop by later."

When the door closed, she slid her hand over her stomach. She'd been pregnant, after all the doctors had told her she never could, and well frankly never had, but with him…with him it'd happened. The tears came then, silently, but they still came. She'd been so sure he felt something, she could still see his face at the Eagle's Nest. What had happened to turn him away? Why didn't he even bother?

Closing her eyes, she tried to think, tried to figure out what happened now. Obviously she had to find a way to go on, one thing she refused to think on anymore was why Ron hadn't loved her enough.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_Berlin-1956_

He hated these social functions. Had they told him he would be required to attend them he'd have turned down the job, regardless of the language school they'd sent him too. Glancing around the room, he took another sip of the wine he was holding. Grimacing he put it down and decided to head for the bar. He'd not drunk wine since France and had no idea why he'd picked it up.

Ordering a Scotch he glanced around the room and was slightly amused at all the men and woman dressed to impress. He'd been in Germany for a month now and still had found nothing that interested him. If he was honest with himself other than pure physical release, he hadn't been interested in any woman since Amanda died.

Closing his eyes he could have kicked himself for bring her name up. Germany was hard enough without being reminded of her, yet she'd never been far from his thoughts. Smiling he realized had she lived they probably would be celebrating their tenth wedding anniversary, maybe some kids in school. Growling at the direction his thoughts were taking he forced himself to mingle and moved away from the bar.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mandy pulled her arm out of Matt's grip. "Look, you need to stop being a possessive ass. I'm not yours Matt and if a man wants to talk to me and I want to talk to him I will."

"Yeah well, talking and him grabbing your ass are two different things. Now get back out that and do what you're getting paid for."

His voice clearly conveyed how annoyed he was, and as far as she was concerned, that made two of them. Letting him lead her back out into the main room, she tried to smile and introduce him to people who would keep him occupied, because right now she really needed a drink. Pulling away from him, she moved to the bar and ordered a glass of wine.

Looking around the room, she noticed there were several new American officers here tonight. She'd heard that they had exchanged their Russian Liaison officers and that the new personnel should be here tonight.

Glancing around the room she eyes were drawn to a group of three officers standing together, the two facing her were older and really not that interesting, but the one with his back to her…well now that was another story, dark hair, nice build. Hmm, maybe she should introduce herself.

The gasp that escaped her was loud enough to draw the attention of the couple next to her. In that moment, she could have cared less. The pain in her chest was overriding everything, including her common sense. The dark haired man she'd been staring at turned his head so that she caught his profile. After eleven years, Ron Speirs was standing less than ten feet from her.

"Miss are you okay, you look a little pale?"

Tearing her eyes away from Ron she stared at the woman next to her, "uh yes, I'm just a little, uh yeah, uh fine. Excuse me." She had to leave and leave now. She couldn't face him, she couldn't face his rejection directly.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Well now there is a something I'd like to have wrapped around me. That's the best looking thing I've seen since we've been in Germany."

Ron turned to look where the other two men were staring to see the tall blonde moving away from them. Something in the way she moved struck him as familiar, or maybe it was just the fact he'd been thinking about Mandy. Frowning he watched her cross the floor quickly and approach a man wearing a tuxedo. The hand she laid on his arm appeared to be a loving gesture. He'd probably would have turned away if the man's face hadn't suddenly appeared in his vision, Matt Decker.

"Gentlemen, excuse me. I think I see someone I know." Moving away from the men, he headed straight for Decker.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Matt we need to leave, now. Ron is here."

Had she been paying attention she would have seen the way Matt lost all his color. "Okay you're right let's go." Moving quickly they made it out the door and down the street. The last thing Matt wanted was a run in with Ron Speirs, especially when the woman he had loved was very much alive and well.

When Ron made it out of the ballroom, he'd lost them both. Frowning he headed back inside. It wouldn't be that hard to figure out where Matt worked, and something about the woman he was with kept nagging at his brain.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Matt wasn't shocked the next day when Ron walked into his office. He knew the man wouldn't let it go, so to cover himself he'd sent Mandy on an errand that he knew would have her gone most of the day. "Ron, good to see you again."

"Don't play with me, who was the blonde you were with last night?"

Raising his eyebrows Matt leaned confidently back in his chair, "well if that's all you want I'm sure I can give you the name and number of the service I got her from."

Before Ron could speak the door opened, "look Matt the next time you feel like running me all over Berlin…oh my God Ron."

Matt watched the two of them stare at each other, he couldn't figure out which one was more shocked, Ron or Mandy. Getting out of his chair he started for the door, he knew his time was up. He'd worked for eleven years to get Mandy, but yet in the end it had all fallen apart.

Ron broke his gaze away from Mandy long enough to grab Matt and shove him up against the wall. "Why? Just tell me that. Why did you tell me she was dead?"

The low growling voice was clearly a threat, the only problem was there was no way for him to escape the grasp currently holding him in place. Now and only now could he see why Nixon and the rest of them had been afraid to tell him. For the first time ever, Matt truly thought he was going to die.

The soft voice and the hand appearing on Ron's arm had Matt nearly weeping.

"Ron, let him go. He's not worth it, I can tell you why he told you that if you'll let him go."

Ron gave him one last hard shove then moved away from him turning to face the woman that he'd thought was dead. Reaching out he gently traced the curve of her face with his finger. "You're really here."

She laid her hand over his and stilled his movements. "I think I could say the same about you. How about we go somewhere and talk, I think we need to."

As Ron took her hand and tucked it into his elbow Mandy looked over his shoulder at Matt and shook her head. "Consider this my notice. I quit!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They walked to Mandy's apartment and once inside Ron had pulled her into his arms and kissed her. The sweet tender kiss he had longed to give her for eleven years. When he finally lifted his head, he saw her eyes were full of tears. "Don't cry baby, it'll be okay I promise."

She pulled away from him and began to pace and talk at the same time; she knew if she didn't get everything out before he touched her again she'd continue to hide the secrets of her past. She didn't know how long she talked but when she finally finished she was hoarse. Keeping her back to him, she realized she was terrified to face him, terrified to see the rejection of her.

When he arms went around her waist and pulled her back into his chest she released the breath she'd been holding. His warm breath caressing her neck sent shivers down her spine.

"None of that's changed my mind. I still love you as much today as I did eleven years ago. My life hasn't been complete without you. Marry me."

Turning in his arms, she pressed her lips to his, her hands moving to the buttons on his jacket. Grabbing her hands, he pulled away from her lips with some reluctance. "So is that a yes?"

Laughing she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bedroom, "you bet your ass it is."


End file.
